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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 719330" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>An update.</p><p></p><p>Life has been hellish for two reasons. The managing of my mother's estate (which I will place in a separate post). And still being stuck in limbo with DAS.</p><p></p><p>We are seeing our son deteriorate before our very eyes. We continue to allow him a roof over his head and food, while we wait for long term rehab.</p><p></p><p>He has successfully skirted the last psychological evaluation several times. I spoke with his OPC she apologized and said she can not force him to show up. She is correct. I spoke with him, told him I know he has missed 3 appointments to complete this assessment and that he had one last shot to complete it. He knows this is a criteria that must be completed in order for him to be accepted into a rehab bed when once becomes available. I had a hard and firm talk and said if rehab isn't what you want then say so. He indicated he srill wanted o go to rehab. Let's hope. </p><p></p><p>He is sullen and low and depressed most of the time. He still gets into his psychotic moments.</p><p></p><p>I have detached from policing him, from chaufering him, bar to court who is out of town, from addressing any addiction concerns with him. He continues to get high. It's heart wrenching to see. It is like he is trying to keep a foot in both camps and is failing miserably at both. Half assing school attendance and half hanging and drugging.</p><p></p><p>He try's to push boundaries and I say no means no and he backs off. He is sullen and chippy about it but he backs down.</p><p></p><p>If he is out late we lock up and go to bed. He now comes home on time. He does not have a key and will not have a key to our home ever again. He came home one night and was pleading and begging to be let in. My husband caved and let him in. It's a process, we are not perfect.</p><p></p><p>He was finger printed and processed for his new charges this week. My husband took him for this booking. The charges were not increased so they remain as posesion of stolen propert. Lucky once again as they could have been increased to breaking and entering had the police investigation produced any further evidence against him. His court date is on Thursday next week for these charges. His public defender attended court for him this week. She was just requesting a conference with the Crown (DA), so he did not need to attend.</p><p></p><p>I see his life in his view. He is depressed at what he is facing in his life. He set it up this way. He has to face the consequences. He puts effort into his alternative program. He likes it. He just doest have the capability to dedicate himself to it 100%. I had suggested he reduce his course load to 2 credit courses, and drop the apprenticeship program. He could pick up the apprentiship program after rehab. I think he was trying to prove he could do the full program. He is in week 2 and has 1 full day of attendance. If this is what it takes for him to see the severity of his problem and the choices he is making, so be it.</p><p></p><p>This week when he bailed on his psychiatric assessment (GAIN PRO 3). I called him and asked him what the F he thought he was playing at. He tried to blame the rescheduling on his counselor. I. Called BS and said don't lie to me. I reiterated again to him that the ONLY reason he was home was to wait for a Rehab bed for long term rehab. I said if he had not interested then to stop playing about and wasting everyone's time. He was desperate and rode his bike all the way to outpatient rehab. By that time his appointment had been taken by someone else.</p><p></p><p>He is scheduled for Monday. I will keep all you posted. This is the last piece in a very long admission process.</p><p></p><p>I also got a request for a cross service meeting between his youth program (John Howard Society), and his out patient rehab program. I do not know what he focus of the meeting is. I expressed that I felt my son was becoming more mentally unstable. His OPR counselor agrees. My biggest fear is that they indicste he is too unstable for rehab. They treat mixed disorders but indicate stable MHD. I am dreading Mondays meeting and fear the worst. His counselor said she is arranging a psychiatric consultation for him. I wished her luck as we all know they have to be clean before a diagnosis can be made. Also I have attempted to have him out on hospital for MH Numerous times. They always let him go saying he has capacity to discharge or refuse care.</p><p></p><p>The other night he came home declaring we were smoking pot and that he could smell it. He demanded we drug test. Well for S--- and giggles I complied. And he accused me of faking my pee sample....I then lost the humor in the situation and began my rant. We are not addicted, our house our rules, we don't smoke pot and even if we did we are productive working adults..... I am sure you get the picture. That was the end of that nonesense.</p><p></p><p>We are all pretty certain he is back to smoking pot poppers. Cheapest way to get really high. His physical health is deteriorarting. He hacks and coughs all the time, his mental health is deteriorating. He is compliant and does not bring the drugs home. We ignore the drug behavior and reward the clean behavior.</p><p></p><p>We do not wake him for school. He requested an alarm clock. I obliged with a Wall Mart special. He wakes some days and some days not. My husband has a hard time not nagging him to get up for school and is getting better at not doing this. It is hard to see your son sliding down the great toilet bowl of life. No one is gong to shake and wake him through life. We can not enable him. We need to continue detaching from him.</p><p></p><p>Faith, hope and strength are what I am focusing on to replace FOG.</p><p></p><p>One day at a time. Naranon is helping.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 719330, member: 21895"] An update. Life has been hellish for two reasons. The managing of my mother's estate (which I will place in a separate post). And still being stuck in limbo with DAS. We are seeing our son deteriorate before our very eyes. We continue to allow him a roof over his head and food, while we wait for long term rehab. He has successfully skirted the last psychological evaluation several times. I spoke with his OPC she apologized and said she can not force him to show up. She is correct. I spoke with him, told him I know he has missed 3 appointments to complete this assessment and that he had one last shot to complete it. He knows this is a criteria that must be completed in order for him to be accepted into a rehab bed when once becomes available. I had a hard and firm talk and said if rehab isn't what you want then say so. He indicated he srill wanted o go to rehab. Let's hope. He is sullen and low and depressed most of the time. He still gets into his psychotic moments. I have detached from policing him, from chaufering him, bar to court who is out of town, from addressing any addiction concerns with him. He continues to get high. It's heart wrenching to see. It is like he is trying to keep a foot in both camps and is failing miserably at both. Half assing school attendance and half hanging and drugging. He try's to push boundaries and I say no means no and he backs off. He is sullen and chippy about it but he backs down. If he is out late we lock up and go to bed. He now comes home on time. He does not have a key and will not have a key to our home ever again. He came home one night and was pleading and begging to be let in. My husband caved and let him in. It's a process, we are not perfect. He was finger printed and processed for his new charges this week. My husband took him for this booking. The charges were not increased so they remain as posesion of stolen propert. Lucky once again as they could have been increased to breaking and entering had the police investigation produced any further evidence against him. His court date is on Thursday next week for these charges. His public defender attended court for him this week. She was just requesting a conference with the Crown (DA), so he did not need to attend. I see his life in his view. He is depressed at what he is facing in his life. He set it up this way. He has to face the consequences. He puts effort into his alternative program. He likes it. He just doest have the capability to dedicate himself to it 100%. I had suggested he reduce his course load to 2 credit courses, and drop the apprenticeship program. He could pick up the apprentiship program after rehab. I think he was trying to prove he could do the full program. He is in week 2 and has 1 full day of attendance. If this is what it takes for him to see the severity of his problem and the choices he is making, so be it. This week when he bailed on his psychiatric assessment (GAIN PRO 3). I called him and asked him what the F he thought he was playing at. He tried to blame the rescheduling on his counselor. I. Called BS and said don't lie to me. I reiterated again to him that the ONLY reason he was home was to wait for a Rehab bed for long term rehab. I said if he had not interested then to stop playing about and wasting everyone's time. He was desperate and rode his bike all the way to outpatient rehab. By that time his appointment had been taken by someone else. He is scheduled for Monday. I will keep all you posted. This is the last piece in a very long admission process. I also got a request for a cross service meeting between his youth program (John Howard Society), and his out patient rehab program. I do not know what he focus of the meeting is. I expressed that I felt my son was becoming more mentally unstable. His OPR counselor agrees. My biggest fear is that they indicste he is too unstable for rehab. They treat mixed disorders but indicate stable MHD. I am dreading Mondays meeting and fear the worst. His counselor said she is arranging a psychiatric consultation for him. I wished her luck as we all know they have to be clean before a diagnosis can be made. Also I have attempted to have him out on hospital for MH Numerous times. They always let him go saying he has capacity to discharge or refuse care. The other night he came home declaring we were smoking pot and that he could smell it. He demanded we drug test. Well for S--- and giggles I complied. And he accused me of faking my pee sample....I then lost the humor in the situation and began my rant. We are not addicted, our house our rules, we don't smoke pot and even if we did we are productive working adults..... I am sure you get the picture. That was the end of that nonesense. We are all pretty certain he is back to smoking pot poppers. Cheapest way to get really high. His physical health is deteriorarting. He hacks and coughs all the time, his mental health is deteriorating. He is compliant and does not bring the drugs home. We ignore the drug behavior and reward the clean behavior. We do not wake him for school. He requested an alarm clock. I obliged with a Wall Mart special. He wakes some days and some days not. My husband has a hard time not nagging him to get up for school and is getting better at not doing this. It is hard to see your son sliding down the great toilet bowl of life. No one is gong to shake and wake him through life. We can not enable him. We need to continue detaching from him. Faith, hope and strength are what I am focusing on to replace FOG. One day at a time. Naranon is helping. [/QUOTE]
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