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Living on the street
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 620660" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>RE, when I read your post, I thought wow all of that sounds fun! Let's run away and join the circus for a while (a little tongue in cheek) or float around on a boat in the Caribbean (more realistic) or go to Europe and backpack (now you're talking!). Even at my age today, that sounds fun. I love to travel. I've basically "followed the rules" so a freer life sounds very appealing.</p><p></p><p>I don't think that is what my son is doing. </p><p></p><p>Because he breaks the law, he isn't welcome anywhere anymore. </p><p>Because he makes no contribution, he isn't welcome anywhere anymore.</p><p>Because he lies and steals, he isn't welcome anywhere anymore. </p><p></p><p>Even in shelters for the homeless, because he fails drug tests when he tries to get in---like the Salvation Army on Monday night (I just learned the reason officially although I figured as much). </p><p></p><p>I don't have a clear picture of his days and nights being homeless.</p><p></p><p>The first time he was homeless, he slept outside businesses, around back, near where they keep the garbage cans. I know his North Face (funny, right a homeless drug addict with a North Face backpack) and his Iphone were stolen that time (so he says). More likely he sold them for drugs. That was the first time and lasted about a week. I don't know what he ate. </p><p></p><p>The second time he was homeless he was four hours away and lived "at" a McDonald's restaurant for a month. I don't know whether he stayed inside or outside. It was mid September to mid October. I do know he first slept behind a movie theatre for three days but he was rousted out and landed at the McDonald's. He doesn't seem to find a homeless community (that I know of). He tries to hang with "regular" people who have jobs. </p><p></p><p>I think he sees himself completely differently than the world sees him. I guess that is the grandiosity that comes with the disease.</p><p></p><p>The third time was over Christmas---Dec. 21 to Jan 2. He went back to the same McDonald's. He kept texting me saying he was cold and hungry. The day I caved in and bought him a bus ticket to get to his court date back here (my last enabling so far on January 2---I am in recovery! May I not relapse! Please.) I talked with him by phone---yes, he was inside the McDonald's, smoking somebody's cigarettes as he was blowing smoke into the phone and using somebody's cell phone. I think he had buddies there. I think somehow he talked his way into that place and was hanging with them. </p><p></p><p>Now, for the fourth time, he is homeless again. He is back in the town where I live. I don't know where he sleeps at night. He tried to get in the SA as I said above on Monday. He tested dirty---I know that because the SA director told me that. She is a friend of mine. He told me "I have no idea why they wouldn't let me in." </p><p></p><p>In the daytime there is a ministry here open 6 a.m. until 3 p.m. You can go there, take a shower, eat breakfast, wash your clothes, eat lunch, use the computer. I know he goes there. </p><p></p><p>Like others have posted on this thread, people make it somehow. When I saw him Tuesday, he unzipped his backpack and I saw a box of those individual packages of peanut butter and crackers. I don't know where he got that. </p><p></p><p>Like others have said, they somehow make it. If you had told me some years ago that my son would be homeless I would have said "over my dead body." </p><p></p><p>I have come to accept that this is what he is choosing by his continuing drug use and by continuing to deny he has a problem and by continuing to deny he needs help. He won't be able to get clean ever by himself. And that assumes he ever does want to get clean. That, of course, would be the first step.</p><p></p><p>So, I can awfulize and say that next he will die. Of course that is possible. He lives a dangerous life. He has no money and somehow he gets drugs. How does that happen? I don't think I want to know. He could get beat up by someone. He could beat somebody up. He could get sick or get a disease that is chronic or acute. He could get shot or knifed. It is likely he could die from an overdose or a lethal combination of drugs.</p><p></p><p>This is the life he is choosing to live. I know many of our difficult children live for years on the streets and survive and I guess that can happen. </p><p></p><p>I get that people don't like the rules of society. There are rules I don't like. I get that some of us are freer spirits. I am a writer and I see myself as a "conforming free spirit" (of sorts). I guess I am pretty conventional really.</p><p></p><p>The deal is this, I think. There are degrees of choosing to live an alternative lifestyle. As long as we don't hurt somebody else, hey go for it. Do your thing. But once we cross over the line of affecting others, we are choosing a path that is hard to come back from. Not impossible. But really hard. </p><p></p><p>Not sure this is what you were looking for on this thread. But this is what occurs to me, right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 620660, member: 17542"] RE, when I read your post, I thought wow all of that sounds fun! Let's run away and join the circus for a while (a little tongue in cheek) or float around on a boat in the Caribbean (more realistic) or go to Europe and backpack (now you're talking!). Even at my age today, that sounds fun. I love to travel. I've basically "followed the rules" so a freer life sounds very appealing. I don't think that is what my son is doing. Because he breaks the law, he isn't welcome anywhere anymore. Because he makes no contribution, he isn't welcome anywhere anymore. Because he lies and steals, he isn't welcome anywhere anymore. Even in shelters for the homeless, because he fails drug tests when he tries to get in---like the Salvation Army on Monday night (I just learned the reason officially although I figured as much). I don't have a clear picture of his days and nights being homeless. The first time he was homeless, he slept outside businesses, around back, near where they keep the garbage cans. I know his North Face (funny, right a homeless drug addict with a North Face backpack) and his Iphone were stolen that time (so he says). More likely he sold them for drugs. That was the first time and lasted about a week. I don't know what he ate. The second time he was homeless he was four hours away and lived "at" a McDonald's restaurant for a month. I don't know whether he stayed inside or outside. It was mid September to mid October. I do know he first slept behind a movie theatre for three days but he was rousted out and landed at the McDonald's. He doesn't seem to find a homeless community (that I know of). He tries to hang with "regular" people who have jobs. I think he sees himself completely differently than the world sees him. I guess that is the grandiosity that comes with the disease. The third time was over Christmas---Dec. 21 to Jan 2. He went back to the same McDonald's. He kept texting me saying he was cold and hungry. The day I caved in and bought him a bus ticket to get to his court date back here (my last enabling so far on January 2---I am in recovery! May I not relapse! Please.) I talked with him by phone---yes, he was inside the McDonald's, smoking somebody's cigarettes as he was blowing smoke into the phone and using somebody's cell phone. I think he had buddies there. I think somehow he talked his way into that place and was hanging with them. Now, for the fourth time, he is homeless again. He is back in the town where I live. I don't know where he sleeps at night. He tried to get in the SA as I said above on Monday. He tested dirty---I know that because the SA director told me that. She is a friend of mine. He told me "I have no idea why they wouldn't let me in." In the daytime there is a ministry here open 6 a.m. until 3 p.m. You can go there, take a shower, eat breakfast, wash your clothes, eat lunch, use the computer. I know he goes there. Like others have posted on this thread, people make it somehow. When I saw him Tuesday, he unzipped his backpack and I saw a box of those individual packages of peanut butter and crackers. I don't know where he got that. Like others have said, they somehow make it. If you had told me some years ago that my son would be homeless I would have said "over my dead body." I have come to accept that this is what he is choosing by his continuing drug use and by continuing to deny he has a problem and by continuing to deny he needs help. He won't be able to get clean ever by himself. And that assumes he ever does want to get clean. That, of course, would be the first step. So, I can awfulize and say that next he will die. Of course that is possible. He lives a dangerous life. He has no money and somehow he gets drugs. How does that happen? I don't think I want to know. He could get beat up by someone. He could beat somebody up. He could get sick or get a disease that is chronic or acute. He could get shot or knifed. It is likely he could die from an overdose or a lethal combination of drugs. This is the life he is choosing to live. I know many of our difficult children live for years on the streets and survive and I guess that can happen. I get that people don't like the rules of society. There are rules I don't like. I get that some of us are freer spirits. I am a writer and I see myself as a "conforming free spirit" (of sorts). I guess I am pretty conventional really. The deal is this, I think. There are degrees of choosing to live an alternative lifestyle. As long as we don't hurt somebody else, hey go for it. Do your thing. But once we cross over the line of affecting others, we are choosing a path that is hard to come back from. Not impossible. But really hard. Not sure this is what you were looking for on this thread. But this is what occurs to me, right now. [/QUOTE]
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