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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 721584" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Pasa, the crazy thing is, my husband and I have given our son so many "second" chances and each time we did we wiped the slate clean telling him "this is a fresh start, we want you to take this opportunity to make better choices and get things turned around" Ya, that would last about a day or two then he would start his crap all over again.</p><p></p><p>I've told him many times over the years, I can forgive you for the crap you have put me through but that does not mean I have forgotten it. </p><p>Forgiveness is for me so I do not hold on to the bitter angry feelings but I am not capable of forgetting. That's where the PTSD comes in. I manage it much better than I used to but I also know that when my son gets out of jail there will be a time period where I will wonder if and when he will show up on my door step. I can see my son behaving exactly as your son has done and like you, I too will not hesitate to call the police.</p><p></p><p>I have found over the years of dealing with my son the less I say to him the better. I do not engage in lengthy conversations with him because I never know what I might say that will set him off, or that he will use against me. My standard line when he asks me for something is "I'm unable to help you and I'm sure you will be able to figure something out" I will say it over and over if I have to.</p><p></p><p>Pasa, I do hope that he will get the message that he needs to stay away from your home and that you will start to have some peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 721584, member: 18516"] Pasa, the crazy thing is, my husband and I have given our son so many "second" chances and each time we did we wiped the slate clean telling him "this is a fresh start, we want you to take this opportunity to make better choices and get things turned around" Ya, that would last about a day or two then he would start his crap all over again. I've told him many times over the years, I can forgive you for the crap you have put me through but that does not mean I have forgotten it. Forgiveness is for me so I do not hold on to the bitter angry feelings but I am not capable of forgetting. That's where the PTSD comes in. I manage it much better than I used to but I also know that when my son gets out of jail there will be a time period where I will wonder if and when he will show up on my door step. I can see my son behaving exactly as your son has done and like you, I too will not hesitate to call the police. I have found over the years of dealing with my son the less I say to him the better. I do not engage in lengthy conversations with him because I never know what I might say that will set him off, or that he will use against me. My standard line when he asks me for something is "I'm unable to help you and I'm sure you will be able to figure something out" I will say it over and over if I have to. Pasa, I do hope that he will get the message that he needs to stay away from your home and that you will start to have some peace. [/QUOTE]
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