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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 622691" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>After reading this again, I feel you are blaming mom for everything. A normal kid would have learned to ride his bike and tie his shoes on his own. Kids just do those things, just like they learn to talk even if they live in a house where you can hardly get a word in. Also, your boyfriend plays a role in his son's life...why did he not fight harder to get full legal custody? My son fought for his son for 50/50 and it cost him a lot of money and his ex gave him grief, but he won. He now has as much control over his son as his ex does and your boyfriend can go back to court and fight for that as well.</p><p></p><p>I tend to not really belief what one divorced person says about another one. It has nothing to do with you..it's just that since you are adversaries, it is common for both sides to label the other person as "crazy" and think of disorders they think each other has. Maybe ex calls your boyfriend "abusisve" even if it's not true (shrug). The real issue is that your boyfriend is not in a position to do anything to help his son since the mother is the primary caregiver.</p><p></p><p>If it has been chaos in this boy's life since birth, that is because BOTH parents let this child live in chaos and this could very well be the result.</p><p></p><p>I don't think there is anything your boyfriend can do even if he wants to if the mother has legal custody. The best thing he CAN do, if he WANTS to do something, is to take her back to court to fight to legal custody so he can make decisions for his child.</p><p></p><p>I wish this child good luck and I truly hope you think about how much you want this. You sound kind and you deserve better in my opinion. This is a mess!!!! Of course, I am not you, but I think you'd better deserve a man without kids at all so you could build your own family and not take on somebody else's diaster-in-the-making.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 622691, member: 1550"] After reading this again, I feel you are blaming mom for everything. A normal kid would have learned to ride his bike and tie his shoes on his own. Kids just do those things, just like they learn to talk even if they live in a house where you can hardly get a word in. Also, your boyfriend plays a role in his son's life...why did he not fight harder to get full legal custody? My son fought for his son for 50/50 and it cost him a lot of money and his ex gave him grief, but he won. He now has as much control over his son as his ex does and your boyfriend can go back to court and fight for that as well. I tend to not really belief what one divorced person says about another one. It has nothing to do with you..it's just that since you are adversaries, it is common for both sides to label the other person as "crazy" and think of disorders they think each other has. Maybe ex calls your boyfriend "abusisve" even if it's not true (shrug). The real issue is that your boyfriend is not in a position to do anything to help his son since the mother is the primary caregiver. If it has been chaos in this boy's life since birth, that is because BOTH parents let this child live in chaos and this could very well be the result. I don't think there is anything your boyfriend can do even if he wants to if the mother has legal custody. The best thing he CAN do, if he WANTS to do something, is to take her back to court to fight to legal custody so he can make decisions for his child. I wish this child good luck and I truly hope you think about how much you want this. You sound kind and you deserve better in my opinion. This is a mess!!!! Of course, I am not you, but I think you'd better deserve a man without kids at all so you could build your own family and not take on somebody else's diaster-in-the-making. [/QUOTE]
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