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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 709383" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am thinking you can tell her, in that crowded coffee shop or library, "i know you are legally an adult now and that you can do whatever you like. As two adults, i wrote a contract that we can both sign in order for things to say the same as far as financial support."</p><p></p><p>At this point she may burst into tears, wave her finger at you, call you nsmes etc. You are going to set conditions that she doesnt like and she will probaly exploxe like a toddler who is denied a cookie right before lunch. Our kids who bring us here often resemble adult toddlers. If she does this, tell her the money deal is off until she can sit with you like an adult and sign the terms of the contract, even if thats another day or never. Before she leaves CALMLY say, "Then you are choosing to be on your own. Thats not a bad thing." And its not.</p><p></p><p>Yes, she will be abusive and hateful. Leave a contract and leave. Any time she is abusive help her grow up by refusing to listen to her toddler meltdowns. Say "i love you but I will talk/text when you are calm." End it.</p><p></p><p>This is what I did about verbal abuse. For me,with persistance, it worked.</p><p></p><p>Also please dont look at her social media. Often they get hateful toward us on social media or lie on it so why even bother? It hurts you and doesnt help her. It often doesnt give a true picture of how she is doing either. Its a show. Often its a show to abuse you or scare you.</p><p></p><p>Hugs and keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 709383, member: 1550"] I am thinking you can tell her, in that crowded coffee shop or library, "i know you are legally an adult now and that you can do whatever you like. As two adults, i wrote a contract that we can both sign in order for things to say the same as far as financial support." At this point she may burst into tears, wave her finger at you, call you nsmes etc. You are going to set conditions that she doesnt like and she will probaly exploxe like a toddler who is denied a cookie right before lunch. Our kids who bring us here often resemble adult toddlers. If she does this, tell her the money deal is off until she can sit with you like an adult and sign the terms of the contract, even if thats another day or never. Before she leaves CALMLY say, "Then you are choosing to be on your own. Thats not a bad thing." And its not. Yes, she will be abusive and hateful. Leave a contract and leave. Any time she is abusive help her grow up by refusing to listen to her toddler meltdowns. Say "i love you but I will talk/text when you are calm." End it. This is what I did about verbal abuse. For me,with persistance, it worked. Also please dont look at her social media. Often they get hateful toward us on social media or lie on it so why even bother? It hurts you and doesnt help her. It often doesnt give a true picture of how she is doing either. Its a show. Often its a show to abuse you or scare you. Hugs and keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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