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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 251279" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>My friend's parents were very obstinate about going into any sort of care, to the point where neither of them were looking after themselves but nothing could be done until acrisis (such as what you're dealing with now). But at that point, they swung into action. They had a fall together. Her dad broke his hip, her mother was bruised but otherwise could have been allowed home except that she couldn't look after herself. As they were separated at the hospital, he to go to X-ray and be admitted, she (the mother) threw a tantrum and had to be sedated. She was admitted to a locked psychiatric ward where they discovered she was malnourished, alcoholic (she had been using alcohol to deal with the physical pain as well as the emotional strain of a husband with Alzheimer's). After a week she was well-fed, off te grog and ready to be released - but not permitted to go home alone, because she was also almost blind and unable to care for herself. So she was admitted to hostel care in a retirement village. It had a nursing home attached to it where they eventually moved the husband (my friend's father) but by this time his hip wasn't healing and he had forgotten even more. He died a month after the fall, but my friend's mother lived in the hostel for the next four years, complaining a lot at first but with much more freedom than she had experienced for a long time. it was ironic - but in the hostel, she had meals taken care of, she had someone to check on her to see if she was OK, but otherwise she could go visiting, go on outings, go stay with family if she wanted, and always had her own space. They were still keeping a close eye on her. She had to give up smoking as well as drinking, she would con other residents into buying cigarettes or alcohol for her. So her daughter and the matron of the place had to control her money as well, very tightly, and watch her like a hawk to make sure she didn't get other people to slip her what she shouldn't have.</p><p></p><p>But hostel retirement living was for her a really good alternative to nursing home. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 251279, member: 1991"] My friend's parents were very obstinate about going into any sort of care, to the point where neither of them were looking after themselves but nothing could be done until acrisis (such as what you're dealing with now). But at that point, they swung into action. They had a fall together. Her dad broke his hip, her mother was bruised but otherwise could have been allowed home except that she couldn't look after herself. As they were separated at the hospital, he to go to X-ray and be admitted, she (the mother) threw a tantrum and had to be sedated. She was admitted to a locked psychiatric ward where they discovered she was malnourished, alcoholic (she had been using alcohol to deal with the physical pain as well as the emotional strain of a husband with Alzheimer's). After a week she was well-fed, off te grog and ready to be released - but not permitted to go home alone, because she was also almost blind and unable to care for herself. So she was admitted to hostel care in a retirement village. It had a nursing home attached to it where they eventually moved the husband (my friend's father) but by this time his hip wasn't healing and he had forgotten even more. He died a month after the fall, but my friend's mother lived in the hostel for the next four years, complaining a lot at first but with much more freedom than she had experienced for a long time. it was ironic - but in the hostel, she had meals taken care of, she had someone to check on her to see if she was OK, but otherwise she could go visiting, go on outings, go stay with family if she wanted, and always had her own space. They were still keeping a close eye on her. She had to give up smoking as well as drinking, she would con other residents into buying cigarettes or alcohol for her. So her daughter and the matron of the place had to control her money as well, very tightly, and watch her like a hawk to make sure she didn't get other people to slip her what she shouldn't have. But hostel retirement living was for her a really good alternative to nursing home. Marg [/QUOTE]
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