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Failure to Thrive
Manchild problems
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704988" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Stop it!</p><p></p><p>Every breath gives another opportunity. He knows you love him. He knows the depth of your love. Of course you react from pain. Everybody does.</p><p></p><p>If you keep making yourself feel worse, through heaping on the guilt, you make it harder to control yourself when you get angry, because you have more to defend.</p><p></p><p>Instead forgive yourself, and begin again. Please try.</p><p></p><p>If you cannot forgive yourself, it will mean that I should not forgive myself, either. And I really, really deserve mercy.</p><p></p><p>What was your crime, really? My own? Love?</p><p>Fighting for a beloved? Doing whatever it takes to get his attention, up to including putting yourself and your life on the line?</p><p></p><p>Is that such a crime? I don't think so. But you will learn here that it does not help. Self-sacrifice and self-destruction make it worse.</p><p></p><p>It is living from your value, your worth, your best self, your commitment to yourself and your family as a whole, (which implicitly includes your son, but not explicitly as long as he hurts you and himself.)</p><p></p><p>You matter. For yourself. Just for yourself. And we are important, we parents. But not dead or defeated. Alive, and strong. And confident. That is why protecting yourself matters.</p><p></p><p>I may write like I know something. I do not. I am trying to remember myself what is important. By writing to you, I remember who I am.</p><p></p><p>I hope you went to rest. I am going to sign off now, too. I am trying to get my closet a bit more organized. Take care. Be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704988, member: 18958"] Stop it! Every breath gives another opportunity. He knows you love him. He knows the depth of your love. Of course you react from pain. Everybody does. If you keep making yourself feel worse, through heaping on the guilt, you make it harder to control yourself when you get angry, because you have more to defend. Instead forgive yourself, and begin again. Please try. If you cannot forgive yourself, it will mean that I should not forgive myself, either. And I really, really deserve mercy. What was your crime, really? My own? Love? Fighting for a beloved? Doing whatever it takes to get his attention, up to including putting yourself and your life on the line? Is that such a crime? I don't think so. But you will learn here that it does not help. Self-sacrifice and self-destruction make it worse. It is living from your value, your worth, your best self, your commitment to yourself and your family as a whole, (which implicitly includes your son, but not explicitly as long as he hurts you and himself.) You matter. For yourself. Just for yourself. And we are important, we parents. But not dead or defeated. Alive, and strong. And confident. That is why protecting yourself matters. I may write like I know something. I do not. I am trying to remember myself what is important. By writing to you, I remember who I am. I hope you went to rest. I am going to sign off now, too. I am trying to get my closet a bit more organized. Take care. Be well. [/QUOTE]
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