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Manipulative adult children
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 755524" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Does your adult child work?</p><p>Our child is unwell and has extreme problems budgeting and planning.</p><p>We help her budget and gift her with needed items for holidays etc.</p><p>If something extreme happens that is unexpected, we might help her. Like transportation to attend a funeral.</p><p>We try to be somewhat helpful, but have boundaries all over the place and let her suffer the consequences of very bad choices. There is only so much we can or should do.</p><p>If she spends every Penney of her food money , for example, even with me giving her laundry detergent etc. ...food store gift certificates for holidays etc. well...I can no longer help. It’s clear she has made inappropriate choices in her spending. And she has ended up at food banks etc. I no longer care. So be it. I hope it teaches her something. I’m not sure. BUT...I have to draw the line somewhere. Again, boundaries and logical consequences. And I pray they help her “figure” it out.</p><p>I use to say that if I’ve helped a little and that help did nothing ...so be it. No guilt here. Since she is unwell...I am willing to help somewhat. She needs to take the ball and run with it. Be grateful. Move forward as best she can. I too have health problems and have hit a “certain age.” I get it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 755524, member: 4152"] Does your adult child work? Our child is unwell and has extreme problems budgeting and planning. We help her budget and gift her with needed items for holidays etc. If something extreme happens that is unexpected, we might help her. Like transportation to attend a funeral. We try to be somewhat helpful, but have boundaries all over the place and let her suffer the consequences of very bad choices. There is only so much we can or should do. If she spends every Penney of her food money , for example, even with me giving her laundry detergent etc. ...food store gift certificates for holidays etc. well...I can no longer help. It’s clear she has made inappropriate choices in her spending. And she has ended up at food banks etc. I no longer care. So be it. I hope it teaches her something. I’m not sure. BUT...I have to draw the line somewhere. Again, boundaries and logical consequences. And I pray they help her “figure” it out. I use to say that if I’ve helped a little and that help did nothing ...so be it. No guilt here. Since she is unwell...I am willing to help somewhat. She needs to take the ball and run with it. Be grateful. Move forward as best she can. I too have health problems and have hit a “certain age.” I get it. [/QUOTE]
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