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Maybe it's Not the Twilight Zone...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 320735" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>This is the sort of stuff that happened in Australia during the Great Depression - my mother told me some stories about my father trying to find work. One place offered him a managerial position, but to get it they wanted him to "train" (ie work) for minimal to no pay for a month. After the month, they sacked him and made te same offer to another bloke. After the month, they did the same thing again. A good way to get enthusiastic and willing workers for next to no pay...</p><p></p><p>That boss sounds very disorganised. And to expect you to work instead of just be interviewed - sorry, that's not how it goes. When you get hired for a job, not only are you on probation with the employer, but the employer is on probation with you. It's a two-way agreement, either one of you can decide it's not working and walk away.</p><p></p><p>He wanted you there for an interview, but couldn't ensure he actually WAS tere at the time you had both agreed. You chose to stay and work (it's a possible job, I don't blame you, but it was your choice, you didn't have to, he couldn't have penalised you for it). There were no terms of employment in place, nothing really had been agreed. You were merely showing him what you could do. Well, showing someone, since he wasn't there.</p><p>You spoke to him and explained about prior committments, especially given the lack of notice and organisation from him. You are a very organised person and require the same level of organisation from other people. </p><p></p><p>He clearly doesn't listen. He didn't write down when you had agreed to have the appointment; he clearly doesn't write down his other committments, which is why he kept having to change your appointment. He didn't make note of your need to start the following week and the schedule you had both worked out. He didn't make notes, he doesn't listen, he simply is not a good employer but a spoilt brat instead. I hazard a guess - daddy bought him the business? Or he's acquired it somehow, there's no way he could have built it up by himself if he doesn't organise himself well.</p><p></p><p>And now you have learned from the experience, you will be even better equipped to see the signs (if any) if anything like this happens again. It's all valuable experience, even the bad stuff.</p><p></p><p>As for difficult child and her constant threats - whatever you feel privately, don't let her scare you. Don't let her see you taking them at all seriously. Maybe say something like, "I know you are just blowing off steam but be careful of who you say this stuff to or you could find yourself behind bars for making threats. People in authority take threats to other people seriously in these times. It's one thing for your friends to perhaps agree and say, 'Yeah, I hate my parents too' - every teenager does at some stage. But you are dreaming if you think there's a snowball's chance in purgatory that any of them would join you in acting this out. So for heaven's sake, stop being such a drama queen and focus on living YOUR life, not talking about ending mine. You think I'm enjoying life right now? You'd be doing me a favour. Want to kill me? Take a number and wait, because I'm first in line!"</p><p></p><p>I actually used that tactic on difficult child 1 when he was being particularly obnoxious in a similar way. In his case he was talking about suicide and I was saying to him, "My turn first!"</p><p>This told him that I felt bad too, I explained my reasons for feeling bad (ie you have to have reasons) and also that I understood feelings like this. He began to talk to me more about his feelnigs which made it easier to get help for him, because once he had talked Occupational Therapist (OT) me (REALLY talked to me) he would then talk to the therapist and psychiatrist, who got him onto Zoloft. Which worked for him.</p><p></p><p>And if she reports you to her therapist for saying such stuff, then deny it. Who's crazy now?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 320735, member: 1991"] This is the sort of stuff that happened in Australia during the Great Depression - my mother told me some stories about my father trying to find work. One place offered him a managerial position, but to get it they wanted him to "train" (ie work) for minimal to no pay for a month. After the month, they sacked him and made te same offer to another bloke. After the month, they did the same thing again. A good way to get enthusiastic and willing workers for next to no pay... That boss sounds very disorganised. And to expect you to work instead of just be interviewed - sorry, that's not how it goes. When you get hired for a job, not only are you on probation with the employer, but the employer is on probation with you. It's a two-way agreement, either one of you can decide it's not working and walk away. He wanted you there for an interview, but couldn't ensure he actually WAS tere at the time you had both agreed. You chose to stay and work (it's a possible job, I don't blame you, but it was your choice, you didn't have to, he couldn't have penalised you for it). There were no terms of employment in place, nothing really had been agreed. You were merely showing him what you could do. Well, showing someone, since he wasn't there. You spoke to him and explained about prior committments, especially given the lack of notice and organisation from him. You are a very organised person and require the same level of organisation from other people. He clearly doesn't listen. He didn't write down when you had agreed to have the appointment; he clearly doesn't write down his other committments, which is why he kept having to change your appointment. He didn't make note of your need to start the following week and the schedule you had both worked out. He didn't make notes, he doesn't listen, he simply is not a good employer but a spoilt brat instead. I hazard a guess - daddy bought him the business? Or he's acquired it somehow, there's no way he could have built it up by himself if he doesn't organise himself well. And now you have learned from the experience, you will be even better equipped to see the signs (if any) if anything like this happens again. It's all valuable experience, even the bad stuff. As for difficult child and her constant threats - whatever you feel privately, don't let her scare you. Don't let her see you taking them at all seriously. Maybe say something like, "I know you are just blowing off steam but be careful of who you say this stuff to or you could find yourself behind bars for making threats. People in authority take threats to other people seriously in these times. It's one thing for your friends to perhaps agree and say, 'Yeah, I hate my parents too' - every teenager does at some stage. But you are dreaming if you think there's a snowball's chance in purgatory that any of them would join you in acting this out. So for heaven's sake, stop being such a drama queen and focus on living YOUR life, not talking about ending mine. You think I'm enjoying life right now? You'd be doing me a favour. Want to kill me? Take a number and wait, because I'm first in line!" I actually used that tactic on difficult child 1 when he was being particularly obnoxious in a similar way. In his case he was talking about suicide and I was saying to him, "My turn first!" This told him that I felt bad too, I explained my reasons for feeling bad (ie you have to have reasons) and also that I understood feelings like this. He began to talk to me more about his feelnigs which made it easier to get help for him, because once he had talked Occupational Therapist (OT) me (REALLY talked to me) he would then talk to the therapist and psychiatrist, who got him onto Zoloft. Which worked for him. And if she reports you to her therapist for saying such stuff, then deny it. Who's crazy now? Marg [/QUOTE]
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