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MJ - what's next?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 755273" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>When I was a little older than your daughter in this respect I was like her. What was different was that I left home at 17-18 and was self-sufficient in all respects from that time.</p><p></p><p>But I remember a phone call with my mother. Maybe a series of them. I was suffering. I had lots of blocks in my life, particularly about men, but other stuff, too. What never leaves me about this phone call was my anger at my mother, and my blaming her for my inability to overcome what I was dealing with, although I tried with all of my might. </p><p></p><p>What I did not realize at the time was that it would take a lifetime and I would not overcome what blocked me; that it was my life work. Just as your daughter's suffering is hers to own and to confront.</p><p></p><p>I did make a break with my mother. And after many years we reconciled and for the last 25 or so years of her life we were close. Maybe not in the way we would have wished, but in the way that it could work.</p><p></p><p>I am not saying you have to break with your daughter or she with you. My own situation was very different.</p><p></p><p>What I wanted to say is this: Each of us individually has to come to the place where we find that we work, that we work in life, that we confront life head on. I think this is the essence of life. And it is in this place where we find a connection to Divine, to creativity and to the greatest sources of personal fulfilment and personal strength.</p><p></p><p>When I stand in the way of my son and his life, when I try to buffer the consequences to him of his actions, when I feel responsible or take on responsibility for what is his to bear I rob him of the truest and realist part of his life and being.</p><p></p><p>I think parenting has the potential to be heroic. We are the ones who must step up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 755273, member: 18958"] When I was a little older than your daughter in this respect I was like her. What was different was that I left home at 17-18 and was self-sufficient in all respects from that time. But I remember a phone call with my mother. Maybe a series of them. I was suffering. I had lots of blocks in my life, particularly about men, but other stuff, too. What never leaves me about this phone call was my anger at my mother, and my blaming her for my inability to overcome what I was dealing with, although I tried with all of my might. What I did not realize at the time was that it would take a lifetime and I would not overcome what blocked me; that it was my life work. Just as your daughter's suffering is hers to own and to confront. I did make a break with my mother. And after many years we reconciled and for the last 25 or so years of her life we were close. Maybe not in the way we would have wished, but in the way that it could work. I am not saying you have to break with your daughter or she with you. My own situation was very different. What I wanted to say is this: Each of us individually has to come to the place where we find that we work, that we work in life, that we confront life head on. I think this is the essence of life. And it is in this place where we find a connection to Divine, to creativity and to the greatest sources of personal fulfilment and personal strength. When I stand in the way of my son and his life, when I try to buffer the consequences to him of his actions, when I feel responsible or take on responsibility for what is his to bear I rob him of the truest and realist part of his life and being. I think parenting has the potential to be heroic. We are the ones who must step up. [/QUOTE]
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