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Money owed to daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="SomewhereOverTheRainbow" data-source="post: 726128" data-attributes="member: 22604"><p>I know in hindsight that helping her financial did not help her. That was wrong of me to do that and I see the error in my ways now. Our son, however, had similar help and he used it productively to pay for his wedding and his new home and he is earning his own way now and not expecting special treatment. He plans to take over our company. Some kids do have the ability to accept the gift and not become entitled. Our daughter unfortunately became entitled and spoiled. So, we are NOT planning to help her anymore. That is the whole point of what we're doing now making her live on her own and run out of money so she will have to learn to survive the hard way. </p><p></p><p>But I do agree with what AppleCorey said,</p><p>"I don’t see how you can legally keep the money from her, whether in her best interests or not. You gave her the money for a down payment, employment payout, and generous salary. Maybe she didn’t earn it or deserve it, but once you gave her the gift, it was hers to do with as she wishes. I would treat her as the adult she is."</p><p></p><p>The fact of the matter is, we gave her the money several years ago. It is still technically her money since we gifted it to her. If I tell her I'm not giving it back to her ever, it isn't right since I only told her I would hold on to it for safe keeping. So then I am a liar and tricked her out of it.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I plan to talk to her tonight. Ultimately it would be best if she makes the right decision. Thanks so much for all your replies!! It is truly helping me to see the light about how much I've enabled in the past and I agree that has to stop.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SomewhereOverTheRainbow, post: 726128, member: 22604"] I know in hindsight that helping her financial did not help her. That was wrong of me to do that and I see the error in my ways now. Our son, however, had similar help and he used it productively to pay for his wedding and his new home and he is earning his own way now and not expecting special treatment. He plans to take over our company. Some kids do have the ability to accept the gift and not become entitled. Our daughter unfortunately became entitled and spoiled. So, we are NOT planning to help her anymore. That is the whole point of what we're doing now making her live on her own and run out of money so she will have to learn to survive the hard way. But I do agree with what AppleCorey said, "I don’t see how you can legally keep the money from her, whether in her best interests or not. You gave her the money for a down payment, employment payout, and generous salary. Maybe she didn’t earn it or deserve it, but once you gave her the gift, it was hers to do with as she wishes. I would treat her as the adult she is." The fact of the matter is, we gave her the money several years ago. It is still technically her money since we gifted it to her. If I tell her I'm not giving it back to her ever, it isn't right since I only told her I would hold on to it for safe keeping. So then I am a liar and tricked her out of it. My husband and I plan to talk to her tonight. Ultimately it would be best if she makes the right decision. Thanks so much for all your replies!! It is truly helping me to see the light about how much I've enabled in the past and I agree that has to stop. [/QUOTE]
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