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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752778" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am guessing he is adopted. Our adopted kids can come to us with many challenges, including Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), that challenge us. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is possibly a diagnosis my daughter would have if she ever went for help. </p><p></p><p>Except for when she wants something from us ( housing, money, other material items) she is fine never contacting us. Since we finally cut off the money, she doesn't talk to us and we don't see our grandson either. But we spent over a decade trying to fix her and earn her love.</p><p></p><p>In the normal sense of the word, Kay does not love us. We still love her, but we no longer feel she can be in our lives. We get sick when she is around and we have two other kids, other grands, and other family who love us and need us healthy and mentally well. And we need to go on in our lives and enjoy our golden years. With therapy and Al Anon we have made the decision to give Kay to God. He can do more than we can. </p><p></p><p>I do not think that No Contact is wrong with impossible people. I get it. I would not involve myself in this son's personal life or relationships. in my opinion it's best to let the players figure it out and not engage his girlfriend nor the family. And telling him how to treat her will fall on deaf ears. Trust me, I have tried talking to Kay. It just ramped up my own drama with her and she didn't listen. Ever.</p><p></p><p>So far, about six months into no contact with Kay, she does not seem better from the things we hear. However, the rest of us are more peaceful and relaxed and we have rekindled our other important relationships.</p><p></p><p>God is huge in my life. My husband and I lean on Him a lot. He helps us to stay strong.</p><p></p><p>Be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752778, member: 23706"] I am guessing he is adopted. Our adopted kids can come to us with many challenges, including Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), that challenge us. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is possibly a diagnosis my daughter would have if she ever went for help. Except for when she wants something from us ( housing, money, other material items) she is fine never contacting us. Since we finally cut off the money, she doesn't talk to us and we don't see our grandson either. But we spent over a decade trying to fix her and earn her love. In the normal sense of the word, Kay does not love us. We still love her, but we no longer feel she can be in our lives. We get sick when she is around and we have two other kids, other grands, and other family who love us and need us healthy and mentally well. And we need to go on in our lives and enjoy our golden years. With therapy and Al Anon we have made the decision to give Kay to God. He can do more than we can. I do not think that No Contact is wrong with impossible people. I get it. I would not involve myself in this son's personal life or relationships. in my opinion it's best to let the players figure it out and not engage his girlfriend nor the family. And telling him how to treat her will fall on deaf ears. Trust me, I have tried talking to Kay. It just ramped up my own drama with her and she didn't listen. Ever. So far, about six months into no contact with Kay, she does not seem better from the things we hear. However, the rest of us are more peaceful and relaxed and we have rekindled our other important relationships. God is huge in my life. My husband and I lean on Him a lot. He helps us to stay strong. Be well. [/QUOTE]
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