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Substance Abuse
Most difficult years of my life
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 726226" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I was able to step out completely money wise BUT both of my difficult adults got jobs and did not need things like food. One lived in hotels for a while (not nice ones) that ex paid for. Son was near me so sometimes I dropped by and we went to fast food. Or visited.</p><p></p><p>My oldest had stolen off dad'scredoy card for porn but not after age 20. In spite of the fact that he can be nasty, we are close and I couldn't bear not to visit or bring goodies. Sometimes.</p><p></p><p>He was not on drugs though.</p><p></p><p>I did it until ex moved up, bought a condo and let son live with him.</p><p></p><p>Every day we have to look at ourselves in the mirror. We have to do things that make our reflection bearable to us.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was told to leave due to drug use, but she was able to get one brother to let her live in his basement as long as she got a job, paid rent, didn't use drugs even once in his home (cigarettes included) and cooked and cleaned for him and his tenants. She did it all and straightened out so there was no need to step in. She did have to walk back and forth to work sometimes in the evening, in Chicago's s coooold winter, but she had a warm coat, hat gloves and boots and never even got a cold. Her brother refused to drive her to and from work and she had no car and we had no intention of buying her one and we knew Chicago weather wouldn't kill her. So we did not feel guilty about her and it really seemed to adult her.</p><p></p><p> Again, it is about what we can stand. We have to live with ourselves.</p><p></p><p>I am close to both adult kids now. They never talk about how I threw them out. I am grateful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 726226, member: 1550"] I was able to step out completely money wise BUT both of my difficult adults got jobs and did not need things like food. One lived in hotels for a while (not nice ones) that ex paid for. Son was near me so sometimes I dropped by and we went to fast food. Or visited. My oldest had stolen off dad'scredoy card for porn but not after age 20. In spite of the fact that he can be nasty, we are close and I couldn't bear not to visit or bring goodies. Sometimes. He was not on drugs though. I did it until ex moved up, bought a condo and let son live with him. Every day we have to look at ourselves in the mirror. We have to do things that make our reflection bearable to us. My daughter was told to leave due to drug use, but she was able to get one brother to let her live in his basement as long as she got a job, paid rent, didn't use drugs even once in his home (cigarettes included) and cooked and cleaned for him and his tenants. She did it all and straightened out so there was no need to step in. She did have to walk back and forth to work sometimes in the evening, in Chicago's s coooold winter, but she had a warm coat, hat gloves and boots and never even got a cold. Her brother refused to drive her to and from work and she had no car and we had no intention of buying her one and we knew Chicago weather wouldn't kill her. So we did not feel guilty about her and it really seemed to adult her. Again, it is about what we can stand. We have to live with ourselves. I am close to both adult kids now. They never talk about how I threw them out. I am grateful. [/QUOTE]
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