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Substance Abuse
Most difficult years of my life
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 726231" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Well said RE!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is indeed a process it is not an on off switch. Some times I am better Gwen overs and I used to best myself up. I am so much better now. Even when my son says well you have done such and such before for me why not now. I have learned to say. Not this time or NO is a complete sentence. I have gotten a lot stronger.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> Me too! When I think of what I used to do. It’s like observing a person in a bubble of madness void of any common sense. Some of the things I have done and paid for I still can’t beleive I did.</p><p></p><p>And even as I sit and write this I have had a text from son saying he misses me. Well then come home dumb ass. I have not kicked him out, he is choosing to stay away with girlfriend.</p><p></p><p>He has suggested we do something together. If they are not high I would love to spend time with them. Of course they will be broke so it will be me that pays. As along as they are polite and appreciative, I don’t mind and I don’t feel this is enabling. I also got son a winter coat. He needed a new one and it is subzero freezing here. I got him a warm coat and I did wait until it went on sale and I did not get him the designer one he had his eye on. Just practice and warm. He thanked me and I know he appreciates that.</p><p></p><p>He is my son and these are the things I do that I do not feel enable him. If he sold his coat I would never replace it or buy him another one. He is now good at not selling his belongings. Now if we can get him off the drugs and to stop stealing that would be fabulous.</p><p></p><p>I do tell him I love him dearly and that it will take time to heal all the wounds. Time for him to heal in rehab and time for us to heal in therapy and as a family.</p><p></p><p>He is more accepting of the upcoming rehab. Let’s hope he gets his butt in there this time.</p><p></p><p>GS the first time I caved and totally enabled my son and felt like such a failure. I hesitated to post it here. When I finally did I got such tremendous support and of course the kick in the but I needed (ever so gently). I wish I had not have been so hard on myself and isolated myself in shame. There is no need. It is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 726231, member: 21895"] Well said RE! It is indeed a process it is not an on off switch. Some times I am better Gwen overs and I used to best myself up. I am so much better now. Even when my son says well you have done such and such before for me why not now. I have learned to say. Not this time or NO is a complete sentence. I have gotten a lot stronger. Me too! When I think of what I used to do. It’s like observing a person in a bubble of madness void of any common sense. Some of the things I have done and paid for I still can’t beleive I did. And even as I sit and write this I have had a text from son saying he misses me. Well then come home dumb ass. I have not kicked him out, he is choosing to stay away with girlfriend. He has suggested we do something together. If they are not high I would love to spend time with them. Of course they will be broke so it will be me that pays. As along as they are polite and appreciative, I don’t mind and I don’t feel this is enabling. I also got son a winter coat. He needed a new one and it is subzero freezing here. I got him a warm coat and I did wait until it went on sale and I did not get him the designer one he had his eye on. Just practice and warm. He thanked me and I know he appreciates that. He is my son and these are the things I do that I do not feel enable him. If he sold his coat I would never replace it or buy him another one. He is now good at not selling his belongings. Now if we can get him off the drugs and to stop stealing that would be fabulous. I do tell him I love him dearly and that it will take time to heal all the wounds. Time for him to heal in rehab and time for us to heal in therapy and as a family. He is more accepting of the upcoming rehab. Let’s hope he gets his butt in there this time. GS the first time I caved and totally enabled my son and felt like such a failure. I hesitated to post it here. When I finally did I got such tremendous support and of course the kick in the but I needed (ever so gently). I wish I had not have been so hard on myself and isolated myself in shame. There is no need. It is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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