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Substance Abuse
Most difficult years of my life
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<blockquote data-quote="strangeworld" data-source="post: 726584" data-attributes="member: 22313"><p>When our hearts are involved it makes decisions difficult. Years of nurturing...loving...and yes enabling. And there are kids who are spoiled growing up and enabled who end up succeeding in life, having great relationships with their folks and others. Our kids have taken a difficult path. Honestly sometimes I don't see how any kid can turn out mentally healthy in the era of internet, cell phones, texting...rampant drugs. And I wonder how many parents go through this but don't say anything to anyone because they are completely demoralized and embarrassed and ashamed. Probably a lot.</p><p></p><p>My daughter is 19, homeless, but comes "home" once in a while. I can't let my mind go to the dark places...where I wonder if she's in the hospital (again)...in jail...or with her boyfriend (ex boyfriend?) who is also extremely unstable. When I do start going to the dsrk thoughts, I come here where there is,an abundance of acceptance and non judgement. </p><p></p><p>My daughter sleeps in the park I think or maybe in someone's backyard or couch. Maybe prostitution...maybe not. Maybe been raped...maybe not. We didn't kick her out...she chooses this. She won't talk about anything but she texts me asking which is cheaper to buy sushi..Safeway or Raleys or if it is going to rain. She says "I love you" often in texts. Our kids will not know how much we love them until they have their own kids (hopefully and when they are mentally ready and clean of drugs). Our kids don't know that we are their biggest cheerleaders. </p><p></p><p>It's the most difficult and heartwrenching thing to have to do....disengage and detach. Get out of their way while finding our way to a bit of peace while still knowing they are struggling. Some struggling to live...burdened by depression or other mental illness exacerbated by self medicating with the "cure all wonder herb" marijuana or alcohol or other drugs. I still have not been able to detach. I think I am doing great til she wants to come home for a day or two and I honestly don't know how to act around her anymore. Untangling a mess that has taken a good 5-6 years to develop is not going to be easy. </p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and I hope you will be able to find some peace. Change is so hard and especially when we have to let go of the people we would die for so they can grow up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="strangeworld, post: 726584, member: 22313"] When our hearts are involved it makes decisions difficult. Years of nurturing...loving...and yes enabling. And there are kids who are spoiled growing up and enabled who end up succeeding in life, having great relationships with their folks and others. Our kids have taken a difficult path. Honestly sometimes I don't see how any kid can turn out mentally healthy in the era of internet, cell phones, texting...rampant drugs. And I wonder how many parents go through this but don't say anything to anyone because they are completely demoralized and embarrassed and ashamed. Probably a lot. My daughter is 19, homeless, but comes "home" once in a while. I can't let my mind go to the dark places...where I wonder if she's in the hospital (again)...in jail...or with her boyfriend (ex boyfriend?) who is also extremely unstable. When I do start going to the dsrk thoughts, I come here where there is,an abundance of acceptance and non judgement. My daughter sleeps in the park I think or maybe in someone's backyard or couch. Maybe prostitution...maybe not. Maybe been raped...maybe not. We didn't kick her out...she chooses this. She won't talk about anything but she texts me asking which is cheaper to buy sushi..Safeway or Raleys or if it is going to rain. She says "I love you" often in texts. Our kids will not know how much we love them until they have their own kids (hopefully and when they are mentally ready and clean of drugs). Our kids don't know that we are their biggest cheerleaders. It's the most difficult and heartwrenching thing to have to do....disengage and detach. Get out of their way while finding our way to a bit of peace while still knowing they are struggling. Some struggling to live...burdened by depression or other mental illness exacerbated by self medicating with the "cure all wonder herb" marijuana or alcohol or other drugs. I still have not been able to detach. I think I am doing great til she wants to come home for a day or two and I honestly don't know how to act around her anymore. Untangling a mess that has taken a good 5-6 years to develop is not going to be easy. Hugs to you and I hope you will be able to find some peace. Change is so hard and especially when we have to let go of the people we would die for so they can grow up. [/QUOTE]
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