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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687470" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Sooo Tired, you know you cannot live for another person, that at the end of the day we have to enrich our own life and try as best we can to insulate ourselves from the hurts we cannot control. Not one of us is exempt from this. Not I, and certainly not my own mother who was terribly disappointed in both her daughters, who never, she felt, gave her her what she needed and wanted or she felt, was her due.</p><p></p><p>But nonetheless she made her life rich in the ways she could. She loved to dance and to go out. She had a boyfriend. She loved movies. She crocheted. More than anything she loved to listen to politics on the radio. We spoke often on the phone, sometimes a few times a week, but towards the end of her life I let 3 years go by without seeing her in person.</p><p></p><p>I believe that I hurt more by this, now, than she was. My grief was made immeasurably harder and deeper and longer, because when I no longer had my mother I had to face that I had chosen all of those years not to see her.</p><p></p><p>You would not want your daughter to suffer as I have. Build a life for yourself. Let her be. Find the love you seek from yourself and from other people who will love you if you give them the chance.</p><p></p><p>The ideal love you seek from your daughter, is in you for her. And maybe, for your own mother.</p><p></p><p>I know how hard it can be when we long for our kids. There is a way to fill that need from within us and by reaching out to others as you did in this thread.</p><p></p><p>Happy Mother's Day Sooo Tired.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687470, member: 18958"] Sooo Tired, you know you cannot live for another person, that at the end of the day we have to enrich our own life and try as best we can to insulate ourselves from the hurts we cannot control. Not one of us is exempt from this. Not I, and certainly not my own mother who was terribly disappointed in both her daughters, who never, she felt, gave her her what she needed and wanted or she felt, was her due. But nonetheless she made her life rich in the ways she could. She loved to dance and to go out. She had a boyfriend. She loved movies. She crocheted. More than anything she loved to listen to politics on the radio. We spoke often on the phone, sometimes a few times a week, but towards the end of her life I let 3 years go by without seeing her in person. I believe that I hurt more by this, now, than she was. My grief was made immeasurably harder and deeper and longer, because when I no longer had my mother I had to face that I had chosen all of those years not to see her. You would not want your daughter to suffer as I have. Build a life for yourself. Let her be. Find the love you seek from yourself and from other people who will love you if you give them the chance. The ideal love you seek from your daughter, is in you for her. And maybe, for your own mother. I know how hard it can be when we long for our kids. There is a way to fill that need from within us and by reaching out to others as you did in this thread. Happy Mother's Day Sooo Tired. [/QUOTE]
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