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General Parenting
Mouthy and out of control teen!
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<blockquote data-quote="Canadiangirl" data-source="post: 413711"><p>Hi ifonly</p><p>I have not replied to may posts but do spend a lot of time reading the posts and getting ideas on how to deal with my ADHD/ODD Girl of 14. We are in a calm place at the moment so things are good for us but I felt compelled to chime in here.</p><p> </p><p>My daughter was pretty much out of control and on a very bad path from the time she was 9 up until early this year (finally diagnosed with ADHD, medicated and school change last year). She was taking Adderal for the ADHD but caused stomache aches and lack of sleep to the point she refused to take it. We then found Vyvanse which she said has made the biggest difference in her life. She will say thank goodness we found it because it has helped her be who she wants to be. From where we were to that is absolutely amazing.</p><p> Another thing that has really really helped is that I have learned (on the advice of my sister who is a teacher in a very large class with many difficult children) to "Do Not Engage". This was very difficult to learn and is still very difficult to continue to do but I found with the ODD (I do agree this is not necessarily a true diagnosis but a symptom of an underlying issue) that if you do not look at your child while you are talking to them they will respond better. The eye contact seems to get her going if she wants to get into an argument. </p><p>Also be prepared to walk away many many many times during a discussion if you need to. As well the second I see her esculating I shift my eyes and if that does not work I walk. Also keep your voice extremely calm at all times (this is the really hard one). I am not saying any of this is the magic solution but I will say that she use to rage for hours and hours almost daily and the combination of the above has her melt downs to 1-2 a month and they are lasting minutes. </p><p>I am sure that this is not the end of the issues with her but we are in a calm period so I can reflect right now.</p><p>Welcome to the forum - it has been a real help to me</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Canadiangirl, post: 413711"] Hi ifonly I have not replied to may posts but do spend a lot of time reading the posts and getting ideas on how to deal with my ADHD/ODD Girl of 14. We are in a calm place at the moment so things are good for us but I felt compelled to chime in here. My daughter was pretty much out of control and on a very bad path from the time she was 9 up until early this year (finally diagnosed with ADHD, medicated and school change last year). She was taking Adderal for the ADHD but caused stomache aches and lack of sleep to the point she refused to take it. We then found Vyvanse which she said has made the biggest difference in her life. She will say thank goodness we found it because it has helped her be who she wants to be. From where we were to that is absolutely amazing. Another thing that has really really helped is that I have learned (on the advice of my sister who is a teacher in a very large class with many difficult children) to "Do Not Engage". This was very difficult to learn and is still very difficult to continue to do but I found with the ODD (I do agree this is not necessarily a true diagnosis but a symptom of an underlying issue) that if you do not look at your child while you are talking to them they will respond better. The eye contact seems to get her going if she wants to get into an argument. Also be prepared to walk away many many many times during a discussion if you need to. As well the second I see her esculating I shift my eyes and if that does not work I walk. Also keep your voice extremely calm at all times (this is the really hard one). I am not saying any of this is the magic solution but I will say that she use to rage for hours and hours almost daily and the combination of the above has her melt downs to 1-2 a month and they are lasting minutes. I am sure that this is not the end of the issues with her but we are in a calm period so I can reflect right now. Welcome to the forum - it has been a real help to me [/QUOTE]
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Mouthy and out of control teen!
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