Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Moving toward grief and depression
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 757449" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Hi Beta,</p><p></p><p>It hurts, I know. I hope you can be super excited about your move and make all sorts of fun plans. </p><p></p><p>My guess is the more you pour out your feelings to Josh, the more he will stomp on your heart.</p><p></p><p>Maybe buy a nice card that says something about letting him go toward his new life with all the love and best wishes in the world. Put a few $$ in there and stop feeling financial guilt. If he wants to come home, there is no reason for you to pay for his airfare.</p><p></p><p>Realize I am speaking only from experience with my Difficult Child. He started out as uncaring, but later moved on to using my vulnerabilities to guilt me. Total gas lighting.</p><p></p><p>Today? Although he knows there are no more $$ forthcoming, he still surfaces from time to time with hateful texts/calls. If we had sent Difficult Child $$ over the past years, those would have been squandered and he would not be in a better place because he does not care to do the work. He'd rather blame.</p><p></p><p>So, while I cannot stand in your shoes and pretend to know what you should do, that is exactly what I am doing. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p>Only because this is an exciting (stressful) time and you deserve to <strong>focus on you.</strong></p><p></p><p>husband and I moved in November. We are also past the age of moving heavy things. We found folks at both ends to move and place our furniture and it was very reasonable! I agree with checking with UHaul, the app <em>Nextdoor </em>if you have it, and the app <em>Thumbtack</em>.... We got three estimates (which varied wildly).</p><p></p><p>If Josh had helped you move, he might have been resentful and it could be a hurtful experience. This may the best thing that could happen from the moving angle. It's difficult to watch our grown kids fly, especially when it looks like a very bad plan.</p><p></p><p>People say variations of this on the forum quite often and it helps me: It is not our life to live; it's theirs. We need to get out of the way.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there!</p><p></p><p>SS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 757449, member: 17635"] Hi Beta, It hurts, I know. I hope you can be super excited about your move and make all sorts of fun plans. My guess is the more you pour out your feelings to Josh, the more he will stomp on your heart. Maybe buy a nice card that says something about letting him go toward his new life with all the love and best wishes in the world. Put a few $$ in there and stop feeling financial guilt. If he wants to come home, there is no reason for you to pay for his airfare. Realize I am speaking only from experience with my Difficult Child. He started out as uncaring, but later moved on to using my vulnerabilities to guilt me. Total gas lighting. Today? Although he knows there are no more $$ forthcoming, he still surfaces from time to time with hateful texts/calls. If we had sent Difficult Child $$ over the past years, those would have been squandered and he would not be in a better place because he does not care to do the work. He'd rather blame. So, while I cannot stand in your shoes and pretend to know what you should do, that is exactly what I am doing. :p Only because this is an exciting (stressful) time and you deserve to [B]focus on you.[/B] husband and I moved in November. We are also past the age of moving heavy things. We found folks at both ends to move and place our furniture and it was very reasonable! I agree with checking with UHaul, the app [I]Nextdoor [/I]if you have it, and the app [I]Thumbtack[/I].... We got three estimates (which varied wildly). If Josh had helped you move, he might have been resentful and it could be a hurtful experience. This may the best thing that could happen from the moving angle. It's difficult to watch our grown kids fly, especially when it looks like a very bad plan. People say variations of this on the forum quite often and it helps me: It is not our life to live; it's theirs. We need to get out of the way. Hang in there! SS [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Moving toward grief and depression
Top