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Substance Abuse
my 18 year old has been smoking pot since he was 14 and it has taken control of him
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 629332" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Bwrn---welcome. Just a few more thoughts. Start thinking about the things you truly can control, like the use of your car, and whether or not you give him money, and how much privacy he has in his bedroom (many people take the bedroom door off the hinges when their kids start acting out---we did)---things like that. </p><p></p><p>You can't police him 24/7 and shadow him everywhere he goes. You can't stop him from smoking pot. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure from your post how old he is, but if he is 18 and he continues doing the things he is doing, he will soon start getting into more serious trouble. </p><p></p><p>And, if he is a drug addict, he will get worse. Addiction is a progressive disease. </p><p></p><p>Read this site. We have been where you are. My son has now been in jail 8 or 9 times. He has two felonies and multiple misdemeanors. He is in jail today. When he's not in jail, he is homeless. He is no longer welcome in my home or my ex-husband's home.</p><p></p><p>I have cried a million tears, but that hasn't changed one single thing. </p><p></p><p>Today, I am working on myself a lot. I spend time every day working on my attitude, getting my "mind right" about who I am, what I need to be doing, how I need to spend my time, how powerless I am over people, places and things, how grateful I am for all that I have been given. </p><p></p><p>I have decided that I am going to continue to have a great life. My life is not my son. I have many other facets of my life, and most of them are wonderful. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I even think that the more we explain, reason, cry, beg and yell about what they are doing, the more they actually do it. </p><p></p><p>Today, I know that it is likely that nothing I do or don't do will change my difficult child. In fact, he may never change. Or he might. Given all of that uncertainty, how will I spend my day today? Just for today. Focus on the here and now, and not on things I can't control.</p><p></p><p>I'm not trying to make it sound simple or easy because I know it is not. It is however, possible. Warm hugs for you and for all you are dealing with. Please keep sharing here. We get it and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 629332, member: 17542"] Bwrn---welcome. Just a few more thoughts. Start thinking about the things you truly can control, like the use of your car, and whether or not you give him money, and how much privacy he has in his bedroom (many people take the bedroom door off the hinges when their kids start acting out---we did)---things like that. You can't police him 24/7 and shadow him everywhere he goes. You can't stop him from smoking pot. I'm not sure from your post how old he is, but if he is 18 and he continues doing the things he is doing, he will soon start getting into more serious trouble. And, if he is a drug addict, he will get worse. Addiction is a progressive disease. Read this site. We have been where you are. My son has now been in jail 8 or 9 times. He has two felonies and multiple misdemeanors. He is in jail today. When he's not in jail, he is homeless. He is no longer welcome in my home or my ex-husband's home. I have cried a million tears, but that hasn't changed one single thing. Today, I am working on myself a lot. I spend time every day working on my attitude, getting my "mind right" about who I am, what I need to be doing, how I need to spend my time, how powerless I am over people, places and things, how grateful I am for all that I have been given. I have decided that I am going to continue to have a great life. My life is not my son. I have many other facets of my life, and most of them are wonderful. Sometimes I even think that the more we explain, reason, cry, beg and yell about what they are doing, the more they actually do it. Today, I know that it is likely that nothing I do or don't do will change my difficult child. In fact, he may never change. Or he might. Given all of that uncertainty, how will I spend my day today? Just for today. Focus on the here and now, and not on things I can't control. I'm not trying to make it sound simple or easy because I know it is not. It is however, possible. Warm hugs for you and for all you are dealing with. Please keep sharing here. We get it and we care. [/QUOTE]
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my 18 year old has been smoking pot since he was 14 and it has taken control of him
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