Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My 19 year old son is choosing to be homeless
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 748608" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I agree with Copa. Even before our children reach 18, they are capable of exerting free will. Our influence over them is limited, and their own innate character/mental health/fortitude ultimately drives their actions.</p><p></p><p>I have two stepsons and neither can function in terms of meeting daily obligations. One is a high school dropout, despite very high intelligence. The other survived a near fatal suicide attempt in 2017 and is now impaired both physically and cognitively. They live with my wife's enabling ex and refuse all contact with us. They are beyond our reach.</p><p></p><p>I have perspective on this from the other side, as well. I also had trouble launching - my adolescence extended past my twenties and into my mid thirties. I graduated HS and college and worked but was not entirely self-sufficient for many years. My mother, with whom I was enmeshed, gave me money and paid my bills when I was between jobs. </p><p></p><p>Ultimately my own character rose up and I asked for my mother's help one last time, this time, to live in her home so I could attend graduate school full time and obtain a career. I did this successfully and am now fully launched. But it took me a very long time. </p><p></p><p>My point being that a great deal of life - the way we live, how we live, and who we exploit - is indeed a choice. At a certain point we make ourselves victims and we turn our children into parasites, with the best of intentions. Not saying that's what you're doing. This is just my opinion.</p><p></p><p>Sadly all you can do is protect yourself, set limits and boundaries of what you will tolerate in your home/from your bank accounts, and love your son unconditionally even if from a distance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 748608, member: 13303"] I agree with Copa. Even before our children reach 18, they are capable of exerting free will. Our influence over them is limited, and their own innate character/mental health/fortitude ultimately drives their actions. I have two stepsons and neither can function in terms of meeting daily obligations. One is a high school dropout, despite very high intelligence. The other survived a near fatal suicide attempt in 2017 and is now impaired both physically and cognitively. They live with my wife's enabling ex and refuse all contact with us. They are beyond our reach. I have perspective on this from the other side, as well. I also had trouble launching - my adolescence extended past my twenties and into my mid thirties. I graduated HS and college and worked but was not entirely self-sufficient for many years. My mother, with whom I was enmeshed, gave me money and paid my bills when I was between jobs. Ultimately my own character rose up and I asked for my mother's help one last time, this time, to live in her home so I could attend graduate school full time and obtain a career. I did this successfully and am now fully launched. But it took me a very long time. My point being that a great deal of life - the way we live, how we live, and who we exploit - is indeed a choice. At a certain point we make ourselves victims and we turn our children into parasites, with the best of intentions. Not saying that's what you're doing. This is just my opinion. Sadly all you can do is protect yourself, set limits and boundaries of what you will tolerate in your home/from your bank accounts, and love your son unconditionally even if from a distance. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My 19 year old son is choosing to be homeless
Top