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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="A1A" data-source="post: 632670" data-attributes="member: 18245"><p>I can feel your pain and understand what you must be going through. Trust God and be strong. Your son needs you. Being in a similar situation, my family and friends have always said, things will get better and to date I have still pinned my hopes on that. One thing for sure, I am unable show tough love - because my love for my son makes me weak to be tough. I have always tried to be his shoes before I make any judgement. One thing I feel strongly about is:</p><p>- They need help even if they are refusing to take help. This refusal stems from their depression.</p><p>- They need lots of love and support.</p><p> </p><p>Feel free to reach out to local community, church or support groups for help. You cannot do this by yourself although there is lot you and your family can do as well. First step is to help your child get out of suicidal mode. Try to go in the past and find out what could be the cause of depression, is it a life event or is it genetic?. Try to solve/fix any triggers that cause or make him feel more depressed. If it is college work, then try to look for a change.</p><p>Enroll him in a hospitilazation program. and continue with PHP to help him get out of suicidal mindset For the most part, my son did not want to go in the program, but after a year he was willing to go. Also, add supplements like fish oil, Calcium-Vit D and also check his B12 levels. Lower levels of B12 can cause them to be more lethargic and depressed. Cook fresh home made food. Dont use canned or processed foods, give him fresh fruits, nuts, vegetables etc. Give him green tea etc... Avoid sugary stuff... Dont underestimate power of food.</p><p> </p><p>Do not let him skip medications. This causes more depression, if current medications are not working talk to your pscych and change them. Make sure you change your doctor if you feel he is not right one for your child..... Changes Changes Changes.....</p><p> </p><p>With anti depressants psycho therapy is even more important. I have something atleast once a week for past 2 years. Choose a good psychologist who is strong and determined. I had to change several too before I found out the one that works well with my child. If your child is going to oppose to go to him them he is the one..... This is what I found.</p><p> </p><p>Severely depressed people dont speak their mind. That makes it worst, and even so they have all the wrong notions built in their mind that fuel the state. Even though it may not show short term effects, continue to praise them like 15 or more times everyday on all their strengths. My daughter who is 8 years old, loves her brother ( and vice versa). We as team work with my son to show him joys of his life. Take him out on family trips (frequent ), have him shoulder the responsibility of baby sitting her (of course with you keeping an eye). Plan out every little thing.</p><p> </p><p>Friends are very important influences. I had to help him weed out certain friends even thought he felt very strong on keeping them. But at this point I am not willing to take any chances with him. Have him go out with friends for movies, games, sport etc. Encourage your son to start running/do a sport or hit gym. I know I am saying this sounding very easy but I know how hard it is to get them to do every little thing I have talked about. I had to be very strong during the day, but stayed up at night crying, but got up in the morning feeling very stong again. The only thing I could do is always motivate and encourage him every day, spend more time with him.</p><p> </p><p>If he is rude, just gulp is down. He does not mean it. Little by little things will start to change very slowly. This will take time. The only way to combat heavy does of negativity is by heavy doses of optimisim. Look around you where he can stay busy. Volunteer, music etc. This will not be effective day one but dont lose hope, do it for years to come. I have been doing this for than 2 years but it has gotten better from 2% to 20%. You will have to look ways to outsmart him and have him come out of his room to spend more time outdoors.</p><p> </p><p>At this state, they are very vulnerable, fragile, uncertain. 'You' are an important person in their life and they need your support. Dont let their demanour or attitude fool or trick you. Dont get angry, they are simply frustated and if they are showing it to you, you are definitely close to them and can help initiate change and influence. Dont give up, keep pursuing. It will get better......</p><p> </p><p>Also, take him to a religious place every week. There is always a peace that is felt when visitng any church, temple, mosque. </p><p> I only created this account to reply to you. I feel for you. I know how hard it is, Even I am still sturggling, but dont lose hope. Dont show your sadness to him but you can cry at nights. Keep all smiles when with him, use lots of humor to manipulate his mind to do things above. Dont let him go away from you. Looks for local colleges. I have heard of some adventure trip with red cross etc. He needs more people stimulation and interaction and plenty of LOVE. Try to take this more objectively and one day at a time, your family will be in our prayers too.....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="A1A, post: 632670, member: 18245"] I can feel your pain and understand what you must be going through. Trust God and be strong. Your son needs you. Being in a similar situation, my family and friends have always said, things will get better and to date I have still pinned my hopes on that. One thing for sure, I am unable show tough love - because my love for my son makes me weak to be tough. I have always tried to be his shoes before I make any judgement. One thing I feel strongly about is: - They need help even if they are refusing to take help. This refusal stems from their depression. - They need lots of love and support. Feel free to reach out to local community, church or support groups for help. You cannot do this by yourself although there is lot you and your family can do as well. First step is to help your child get out of suicidal mode. Try to go in the past and find out what could be the cause of depression, is it a life event or is it genetic?. Try to solve/fix any triggers that cause or make him feel more depressed. If it is college work, then try to look for a change. Enroll him in a hospitilazation program. and continue with PHP to help him get out of suicidal mindset For the most part, my son did not want to go in the program, but after a year he was willing to go. Also, add supplements like fish oil, Calcium-Vit D and also check his B12 levels. Lower levels of B12 can cause them to be more lethargic and depressed. Cook fresh home made food. Dont use canned or processed foods, give him fresh fruits, nuts, vegetables etc. Give him green tea etc... Avoid sugary stuff... Dont underestimate power of food. Do not let him skip medications. This causes more depression, if current medications are not working talk to your pscych and change them. Make sure you change your doctor if you feel he is not right one for your child..... Changes Changes Changes..... With anti depressants psycho therapy is even more important. I have something atleast once a week for past 2 years. Choose a good psychologist who is strong and determined. I had to change several too before I found out the one that works well with my child. If your child is going to oppose to go to him them he is the one..... This is what I found. Severely depressed people dont speak their mind. That makes it worst, and even so they have all the wrong notions built in their mind that fuel the state. Even though it may not show short term effects, continue to praise them like 15 or more times everyday on all their strengths. My daughter who is 8 years old, loves her brother ( and vice versa). We as team work with my son to show him joys of his life. Take him out on family trips (frequent ), have him shoulder the responsibility of baby sitting her (of course with you keeping an eye). Plan out every little thing. Friends are very important influences. I had to help him weed out certain friends even thought he felt very strong on keeping them. But at this point I am not willing to take any chances with him. Have him go out with friends for movies, games, sport etc. Encourage your son to start running/do a sport or hit gym. I know I am saying this sounding very easy but I know how hard it is to get them to do every little thing I have talked about. I had to be very strong during the day, but stayed up at night crying, but got up in the morning feeling very stong again. The only thing I could do is always motivate and encourage him every day, spend more time with him. If he is rude, just gulp is down. He does not mean it. Little by little things will start to change very slowly. This will take time. The only way to combat heavy does of negativity is by heavy doses of optimisim. Look around you where he can stay busy. Volunteer, music etc. This will not be effective day one but dont lose hope, do it for years to come. I have been doing this for than 2 years but it has gotten better from 2% to 20%. You will have to look ways to outsmart him and have him come out of his room to spend more time outdoors. At this state, they are very vulnerable, fragile, uncertain. 'You' are an important person in their life and they need your support. Dont let their demanour or attitude fool or trick you. Dont get angry, they are simply frustated and if they are showing it to you, you are definitely close to them and can help initiate change and influence. Dont give up, keep pursuing. It will get better...... Also, take him to a religious place every week. There is always a peace that is felt when visitng any church, temple, mosque. I only created this account to reply to you. I feel for you. I know how hard it is, Even I am still sturggling, but dont lose hope. Dont show your sadness to him but you can cry at nights. Keep all smiles when with him, use lots of humor to manipulate his mind to do things above. Dont let him go away from you. Looks for local colleges. I have heard of some adventure trip with red cross etc. He needs more people stimulation and interaction and plenty of LOVE. Try to take this more objectively and one day at a time, your family will be in our prayers too..... [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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