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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="lauraasheville" data-source="post: 634493" data-attributes="member: 18332"><p>Hello. Have just joined and found the site when googling "18 year old who refuses help for depression". Very good information and facts for me to read here. Have one child, always content alone and entertaining herself with 1-2 friends. Never a problem. Divorced her dad when she was 12. No relationship w dad altho dad tries in his way (doesn't work, never support, has lived w enabler mom since I left in 07). Married wonderful man 2010, daughter and he close, she actually opened up. He died after 18 mos marriage. Daughter has never mentioned his name but picture of two of them always in site. 2.5 years now and we have moved to new state. She spent first year of college out of state last year and seemed poster child for college. Scholarships, $30k financial aid in grants etc. Found out week we moved, 3 mos ago, she stopped attending classes last spring, failed most, lost all aid. Stays in bed most days. Will explore new city w me but nasty if I bring up any questions on what is next. I didn't plan on her with me and 24/7 lack of privacy. She said has thought of suicide. She said twice she would go to therapy then refused so I went to get advice. No family nor others who know her well enough as we have moved often. First time for me I have no idea of what to do as trading fine line w being supportive but also feel she may be manipulating me and lazy. Wants to get apt back in college town and work but I have to guarantee apt and am hesitant. Told her she has to get some kind of job here or therapy as depression runs in family and she refuses. I am so confused on whether to be patient or set rules. Yes guilt kicks in if I feel I am not sympathetic but also do not want to enable. I spent 17 yrs enabling her father and was so glad to leave and now realize my new start has me feeling dread at going home to her dark room and her in bed so I keep very busy. Have no clue what direction to turn. So not think drug problem. I think lost soul afraid of life with no passion for anything. I suggested volunteering but no interest. Will walk dog and do tasks if asked but never on own. At what point do you know best direction to take? Is all stunning to me and I can't even acknowledge my inner feelings of betrayal, waste, what I did wrong and how I screwed up. Thanks for listening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lauraasheville, post: 634493, member: 18332"] Hello. Have just joined and found the site when googling "18 year old who refuses help for depression". Very good information and facts for me to read here. Have one child, always content alone and entertaining herself with 1-2 friends. Never a problem. Divorced her dad when she was 12. No relationship w dad altho dad tries in his way (doesn't work, never support, has lived w enabler mom since I left in 07). Married wonderful man 2010, daughter and he close, she actually opened up. He died after 18 mos marriage. Daughter has never mentioned his name but picture of two of them always in site. 2.5 years now and we have moved to new state. She spent first year of college out of state last year and seemed poster child for college. Scholarships, $30k financial aid in grants etc. Found out week we moved, 3 mos ago, she stopped attending classes last spring, failed most, lost all aid. Stays in bed most days. Will explore new city w me but nasty if I bring up any questions on what is next. I didn't plan on her with me and 24/7 lack of privacy. She said has thought of suicide. She said twice she would go to therapy then refused so I went to get advice. No family nor others who know her well enough as we have moved often. First time for me I have no idea of what to do as trading fine line w being supportive but also feel she may be manipulating me and lazy. Wants to get apt back in college town and work but I have to guarantee apt and am hesitant. Told her she has to get some kind of job here or therapy as depression runs in family and she refuses. I am so confused on whether to be patient or set rules. Yes guilt kicks in if I feel I am not sympathetic but also do not want to enable. I spent 17 yrs enabling her father and was so glad to leave and now realize my new start has me feeling dread at going home to her dark room and her in bed so I keep very busy. Have no clue what direction to turn. So not think drug problem. I think lost soul afraid of life with no passion for anything. I suggested volunteering but no interest. Will walk dog and do tasks if asked but never on own. At what point do you know best direction to take? Is all stunning to me and I can't even acknowledge my inner feelings of betrayal, waste, what I did wrong and how I screwed up. Thanks for listening. [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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