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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="Tyler" data-source="post: 694883" data-attributes="member: 20546"><p>I feel I am qualified to answer this question after having been through the psychiatric run-around for the last 7 years, been in inpatient over 15 times, and have been on every single drug that has come on the market. Now I'm drug free and better than ever.</p><p></p><p>The advice given to OP on this thread is downright dangerous, both to her and to her son. People with major depression need serious help. Thinking it is a life choice is beyond ignorance. Thinking that being hard on them will make them wake up and suddenly get better is one of the most incompetent things I have ever heard. Here we have a case of the stupid leading the beggars. You can't always take the advice of others, because like most things in life, you get what you pay for (free advice = dogshit).</p><p></p><p>Clinical depression makes a person not want something. They are dead inside. To the person who said the OP's son is doing these things because he "wants to" needs to never post here again. The chemical imbalance theory is just that: a theory. In my mind, it is the biggest crock of <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> to hit the mental health world, right up there with frontal lobotomies. Drugs are handed out like candy when what we really need is to get down to the basics. I'm going to tell you what they are:</p><p></p><p>1. Everybody is different. Some people have strengths others don't have, and everyone has a different personality. Some people are far more intelligent than the rest of the population, and others are borderline retarded. Thinking pills are going to help everyone is ridiculous. The human brain is so complex we cannot even begin to understand it, yet we have doctors who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (pushing pills) who believe they are the authority on the subject. How asinine. The worst are the forum posters who think they know something they don't, and routinely give bad advice from their soap box. News flash, nobody gives a <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> what you have to say, so stop saying it.</p><p>2. Clinical depression is, more likely than not for your son, a broken soul. He is either in a toxic environment, around toxic people, or has given up from being in a state of despair and hopelessness at something going on in his life. One does not just shut down without some sort of event taking place. We can train rats to become hopeless through regular torture. Does that mean they suddenly acquire a chemical imbalance? There is much more to depression than what pharma and quacksters would have you believe. I would be willing to bet that your child is highly intelligent, if not gifted.</p><p>3. The last thing a person with this level of crippling depression needs is someone abandoning him. Being hard on him will make him feel even worse. Have you not figured out by now that he is unable to just snap out of it? Why don't you take a problem solving approach and figure out what is wrong with him.</p><p></p><p>Oh wait, you already do. He feels like his life is over. He has given up. Do you really think being tough on him to get his act together will solve anything? Will that suddenly make him realize life again? Do you see how that doesn't make any sense at all?</p><p></p><p>Why don't you sit down with him for 10 minutes and ask him what is REALLY on his mind. Chances are he'll be too depressed to talk about it. People with this level of pain need to have others around them that recognize what they are going through. Sometimes you need someone to see how bad you look, rather than have someone continuously ask you how you feel. It's black and white.</p><p></p><p>Chances are he's broken and going through an identity crisis. His mind is shutting down due to complete inability to figure out himself or where is place in the world is. Do you think beating him down further will solve the problem? Do you think stressing him out over what he's going to do with his life will solve anything? Maybe all he needs is another 6 months to a year to chill the <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> out, become stress free, and then figure out what it is that he wants to do.</p><p></p><p>Had I taken the well needed 6 month to 1 year break that I needed, I wouldn't be in the position that I am in today. Instead, I listened to the "professionals" and my family tell me what they think they know. Bottom line is the drugs don't work, and he's right not to take them. Nobody in their right mind would. I wish I NEVER went down that path, and trusted my gut. My gut was telling me I needed to calm down, and the world kept pressuring me to do things I did not want to do. I eventually snapped (as any sane person would).</p><p></p><p>Had I listened to myself and wallowed around for a year, I would have rested, recharged, and eventually made it out of there, ready to take on the world.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes all we need is a recharge. You throwing him the hell out is setting him up for years of abuse. Why don't you be a good <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />ing parent and treat your son as you would want to be treated in that situation, and treat your son with the love, respect, and kindness that he deserves? If I had a child I would be there for my son. This "tough love" crap comes from parents who are either too ignorant or too incompetent to do things the right way. Me, me, me, me, me. The level of narcissism from parents who are supposed to be there for their children is astounding. Baby boomers need to really get the <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> out of the way.</p><p></p><p>I would go into debt for my son. I would kill or be killed for my son. Where are all these "great" parents coming from who are ready to throw their child out on the street? You said it yourself, he was a VERY good kid. Why are you abandoning him all of a sudden? He falls from grace and you feed him to the wolves. It wasn't like he was a <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> bag that didn't get his act together. Why don't you try listening to him and stop force feeding him this stupid medication. People like you make me sick.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tyler, post: 694883, member: 20546"] I feel I am qualified to answer this question after having been through the psychiatric run-around for the last 7 years, been in inpatient over 15 times, and have been on every single drug that has come on the market. Now I'm drug free and better than ever. The advice given to OP on this thread is downright dangerous, both to her and to her son. People with major depression need serious help. Thinking it is a life choice is beyond ignorance. Thinking that being hard on them will make them wake up and suddenly get better is one of the most incompetent things I have ever heard. Here we have a case of the stupid leading the beggars. You can't always take the advice of others, because like most things in life, you get what you pay for (free advice = dogshit). Clinical depression makes a person not want something. They are dead inside. To the person who said the OP's son is doing these things because he "wants to" needs to never post here again. The chemical imbalance theory is just that: a theory. In my mind, it is the biggest crock of :censored2: to hit the mental health world, right up there with frontal lobotomies. Drugs are handed out like candy when what we really need is to get down to the basics. I'm going to tell you what they are: 1. Everybody is different. Some people have strengths others don't have, and everyone has a different personality. Some people are far more intelligent than the rest of the population, and others are borderline retarded. Thinking pills are going to help everyone is ridiculous. The human brain is so complex we cannot even begin to understand it, yet we have doctors who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year (pushing pills) who believe they are the authority on the subject. How asinine. The worst are the forum posters who think they know something they don't, and routinely give bad advice from their soap box. News flash, nobody gives a :censored2: what you have to say, so stop saying it. 2. Clinical depression is, more likely than not for your son, a broken soul. He is either in a toxic environment, around toxic people, or has given up from being in a state of despair and hopelessness at something going on in his life. One does not just shut down without some sort of event taking place. We can train rats to become hopeless through regular torture. Does that mean they suddenly acquire a chemical imbalance? There is much more to depression than what pharma and quacksters would have you believe. I would be willing to bet that your child is highly intelligent, if not gifted. 3. The last thing a person with this level of crippling depression needs is someone abandoning him. Being hard on him will make him feel even worse. Have you not figured out by now that he is unable to just snap out of it? Why don't you take a problem solving approach and figure out what is wrong with him. Oh wait, you already do. He feels like his life is over. He has given up. Do you really think being tough on him to get his act together will solve anything? Will that suddenly make him realize life again? Do you see how that doesn't make any sense at all? Why don't you sit down with him for 10 minutes and ask him what is REALLY on his mind. Chances are he'll be too depressed to talk about it. People with this level of pain need to have others around them that recognize what they are going through. Sometimes you need someone to see how bad you look, rather than have someone continuously ask you how you feel. It's black and white. Chances are he's broken and going through an identity crisis. His mind is shutting down due to complete inability to figure out himself or where is place in the world is. Do you think beating him down further will solve the problem? Do you think stressing him out over what he's going to do with his life will solve anything? Maybe all he needs is another 6 months to a year to chill the :censored2: out, become stress free, and then figure out what it is that he wants to do. Had I taken the well needed 6 month to 1 year break that I needed, I wouldn't be in the position that I am in today. Instead, I listened to the "professionals" and my family tell me what they think they know. Bottom line is the drugs don't work, and he's right not to take them. Nobody in their right mind would. I wish I NEVER went down that path, and trusted my gut. My gut was telling me I needed to calm down, and the world kept pressuring me to do things I did not want to do. I eventually snapped (as any sane person would). Had I listened to myself and wallowed around for a year, I would have rested, recharged, and eventually made it out of there, ready to take on the world. Sometimes all we need is a recharge. You throwing him the hell out is setting him up for years of abuse. Why don't you be a good :censored2:ing parent and treat your son as you would want to be treated in that situation, and treat your son with the love, respect, and kindness that he deserves? If I had a child I would be there for my son. This "tough love" crap comes from parents who are either too ignorant or too incompetent to do things the right way. Me, me, me, me, me. The level of narcissism from parents who are supposed to be there for their children is astounding. Baby boomers need to really get the :censored2: out of the way. I would go into debt for my son. I would kill or be killed for my son. Where are all these "great" parents coming from who are ready to throw their child out on the street? You said it yourself, he was a VERY good kid. Why are you abandoning him all of a sudden? He falls from grace and you feed him to the wolves. It wasn't like he was a :censored2: bag that didn't get his act together. Why don't you try listening to him and stop force feeding him this stupid medication. People like you make me sick. [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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