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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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<blockquote data-quote="hope2hope" data-source="post: 736619" data-attributes="member: 22856"><p>Honestly no one on this forum can adequately assess your relationship with your daughter. The most helpful advice is for you to see a personal therapist so you can work through these issues and establish good boundaries. Sounds like you were a single mom-very tough job. </p><p></p><p>Some flags in your description—you said your ex is a “doormat”but he is the one who called the cops on her behavior and he detected the bs on the nursing school. Maybe he looks at her behavior from a different perspective with a little more healthy distance. Also, you admitted that you went too far when talking about her childhood in front of her boyfriend. Was she being overly sensitive or did you hit a nerve with her because she rightfully or wrongfully noticing you “calling her out” in front of others?</p><p></p><p>The student loan is definitely something that needs to be resolved between both parents (if agreed to finance education) and adult daughter. Do it in private and tell her that you need to come up with a plan. If possible see if she can re-fi or the very least renegotiate repayment plans it is affordable. Three adults should be able to work out a reasonable plan.</p><p></p><p>I have a very difficult 20year old son still living at home. My husband and I are sludging through getting him to grow up and act like an adult. Most days we feel like we are losing the battle and have come to the realization that he will need to push him from the nest to crash and burn or learn to fly - his choice. I am deeply sad over his life right now and accept that we may never have a “normal” relationship. In my mind I have accepted that the chase is over. I can’t make him act more appropriately or get the help he needs. I can’t control how he feels about his parents. I can only control my reaction and know that my parenting decisions have come from love even if they weren’t 100% perfect.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hope2hope, post: 736619, member: 22856"] Honestly no one on this forum can adequately assess your relationship with your daughter. The most helpful advice is for you to see a personal therapist so you can work through these issues and establish good boundaries. Sounds like you were a single mom-very tough job. Some flags in your description—you said your ex is a “doormat”but he is the one who called the cops on her behavior and he detected the bs on the nursing school. Maybe he looks at her behavior from a different perspective with a little more healthy distance. Also, you admitted that you went too far when talking about her childhood in front of her boyfriend. Was she being overly sensitive or did you hit a nerve with her because she rightfully or wrongfully noticing you “calling her out” in front of others? The student loan is definitely something that needs to be resolved between both parents (if agreed to finance education) and adult daughter. Do it in private and tell her that you need to come up with a plan. If possible see if she can re-fi or the very least renegotiate repayment plans it is affordable. Three adults should be able to work out a reasonable plan. I have a very difficult 20year old son still living at home. My husband and I are sludging through getting him to grow up and act like an adult. Most days we feel like we are losing the battle and have come to the realization that he will need to push him from the nest to crash and burn or learn to fly - his choice. I am deeply sad over his life right now and accept that we may never have a “normal” relationship. In my mind I have accepted that the chase is over. I can’t make him act more appropriately or get the help he needs. I can’t control how he feels about his parents. I can only control my reaction and know that my parenting decisions have come from love even if they weren’t 100% perfect. [/QUOTE]
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My 25 year old daughter wants space
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