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Substance Abuse
My 33 year old son. Had to make homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 730315" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It is usually brave to do this and good for both of you.</p><p></p><p>Unless your son is not able bodied there is no reason for him to not be on his own by 33!! You certainly would not want him living in your basement at 40, would you? This would be unhealthy for both of you.</p><p></p><p>I had to make my drug using daughter leave at 19. I had two young kids who were scared of her and frankly she was unwilling to do anything to help herself under our roof. She quit drugs quickly after being without our help. She is now 34 and a productive member of society and wonderful mom to my granddaughter. We are close! I don't know if this would have happened if we had not taken action. Trust me, I cried for weeks and did not sleep....very hard to make my basically sweet beautiful daughter leave, but something had to change. She looked like death...I could not make it easier for her to use drugs especially with her little brother and sister watching her drug rages. </p><p></p><p>Our "help" often is just the opposite. Our guilt keeps us often doing the wrong thing. But we are not supposed to be mommies forever. We graduate to mothers who have healthy adult relationships with our adult kids. Often, as we age, they begin to worry about US.</p><p></p><p>I have four adult kids and had trouble with two but they are all on their own and functioning. There comes a time when we are too old and tired to deal with their abuse, if there is abuse, and there is a time when they need to learn that we can not and will not care for them forever...they have to face the consequences of their bad choices. We will die one day...they will be alone.</p><p></p><p>33 is certainly old enough to be told to grow up. Yes, he will guilt you and try to make you continue housing and supporting him. Ignore. </p><p></p><p>Love and light!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 730315, member: 1550"] It is usually brave to do this and good for both of you. Unless your son is not able bodied there is no reason for him to not be on his own by 33!! You certainly would not want him living in your basement at 40, would you? This would be unhealthy for both of you. I had to make my drug using daughter leave at 19. I had two young kids who were scared of her and frankly she was unwilling to do anything to help herself under our roof. She quit drugs quickly after being without our help. She is now 34 and a productive member of society and wonderful mom to my granddaughter. We are close! I don't know if this would have happened if we had not taken action. Trust me, I cried for weeks and did not sleep....very hard to make my basically sweet beautiful daughter leave, but something had to change. She looked like death...I could not make it easier for her to use drugs especially with her little brother and sister watching her drug rages. Our "help" often is just the opposite. Our guilt keeps us often doing the wrong thing. But we are not supposed to be mommies forever. We graduate to mothers who have healthy adult relationships with our adult kids. Often, as we age, they begin to worry about US. I have four adult kids and had trouble with two but they are all on their own and functioning. There comes a time when we are too old and tired to deal with their abuse, if there is abuse, and there is a time when they need to learn that we can not and will not care for them forever...they have to face the consequences of their bad choices. We will die one day...they will be alone. 33 is certainly old enough to be told to grow up. Yes, he will guilt you and try to make you continue housing and supporting him. Ignore. Love and light! [/QUOTE]
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My 33 year old son. Had to make homeless
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