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Failure to Thrive
My Adult Son Has Been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Severe Depression and Anxiety
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724335" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My opinion. </p><p></p><p>Your son is a man. He is abusive and violent to himself and others if he isnt on his medications and he wont take them. Apparently he is choosing to be mentally ill because he wont take his medications. That is his fault. Your husband wants a peaceful home, which is what i think you should want too. To be honest, it sounds as if your son could very well be taking street drugs.</p><p></p><p>In my home, 22 year olds are adults and responsible for themselves. Rescuing your son from being unable to drive is not good for anyone in my opinion. He is too reckless or intoxicated to drive and in my house over my dead body would i either help him get access to a car nor help him have insurance, regardless of the toddler tantrum he may throw. Unless he did the right things and took his psychiatric medications and got a steady job, he would be gone. When my daughter took drugs, she had to leave. I did not feel good allowing her to live at home while she broke the law, hung out with scary people and frightened my younger kids. Guess what? She turned her life around. It has been twelve years. Will your Son do the same if you do tje same? Maybe. Maybe not. But he definitely wont improve under your roof.</p><p></p><p>I dont believe in allowing them to break the law or abuse us under our roof, nor supporting them financially after age 18... i dont feel it is good for them or us.</p><p></p><p>Meth can cause paranoia. Maybe?? Stalking is not mental illness...it is abusive behavior meant to terrify the victim. He is lucky to not be in prison. This is a serious crime.</p><p></p><p>If this were me, I would choose my marriage and a safe home over shielding son who wont take his medication. Yes, it is gut wrenching to make them leave. But it is better for them to learn that there are serious consequences to that sort of behavior than to coddle it. What reason does your son have to take his medications, go to therapy and become a better person if he can live in a warm house with good food, money, a car you pay for, and the power to scream, yell, carry on and control both of you? He even has control of your marriage! What does that show him about being an adult?</p><p></p><p>Also, in my opinion our house should be our sanctuary. Does your daughter have to come home to this chaos? Or does she hopefully live on her own? If she lives with you, she matters too. You all matter. This is not your little cute eight year old boy anymore. He is a tall, strong man who can hurt with both his fists and mouth.</p><p></p><p>I am not trying to be harsh but your son's behavior in my opinion makes him a danger to the entire family. Obviously, it would be better if hub could just walk away, but he doesnt...i still feel he has the right idea, minus engaging son in arguments. in my opinion Son should leave until he is medicated and gainfully employed. He is able bodied. He can work. Actually, he is old enough to get a job, his own place, therapy and medications and never live with you again.</p><p></p><p>Many good wishes. I know how hard this is. I had to do it. I hurt at first, but the pay off was great. She is wonderful today. Your son needs some incentive to do better. Right now he has none.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724335, member: 1550"] My opinion. Your son is a man. He is abusive and violent to himself and others if he isnt on his medications and he wont take them. Apparently he is choosing to be mentally ill because he wont take his medications. That is his fault. Your husband wants a peaceful home, which is what i think you should want too. To be honest, it sounds as if your son could very well be taking street drugs. In my home, 22 year olds are adults and responsible for themselves. Rescuing your son from being unable to drive is not good for anyone in my opinion. He is too reckless or intoxicated to drive and in my house over my dead body would i either help him get access to a car nor help him have insurance, regardless of the toddler tantrum he may throw. Unless he did the right things and took his psychiatric medications and got a steady job, he would be gone. When my daughter took drugs, she had to leave. I did not feel good allowing her to live at home while she broke the law, hung out with scary people and frightened my younger kids. Guess what? She turned her life around. It has been twelve years. Will your Son do the same if you do tje same? Maybe. Maybe not. But he definitely wont improve under your roof. I dont believe in allowing them to break the law or abuse us under our roof, nor supporting them financially after age 18... i dont feel it is good for them or us. Meth can cause paranoia. Maybe?? Stalking is not mental illness...it is abusive behavior meant to terrify the victim. He is lucky to not be in prison. This is a serious crime. If this were me, I would choose my marriage and a safe home over shielding son who wont take his medication. Yes, it is gut wrenching to make them leave. But it is better for them to learn that there are serious consequences to that sort of behavior than to coddle it. What reason does your son have to take his medications, go to therapy and become a better person if he can live in a warm house with good food, money, a car you pay for, and the power to scream, yell, carry on and control both of you? He even has control of your marriage! What does that show him about being an adult? Also, in my opinion our house should be our sanctuary. Does your daughter have to come home to this chaos? Or does she hopefully live on her own? If she lives with you, she matters too. You all matter. This is not your little cute eight year old boy anymore. He is a tall, strong man who can hurt with both his fists and mouth. I am not trying to be harsh but your son's behavior in my opinion makes him a danger to the entire family. Obviously, it would be better if hub could just walk away, but he doesnt...i still feel he has the right idea, minus engaging son in arguments. in my opinion Son should leave until he is medicated and gainfully employed. He is able bodied. He can work. Actually, he is old enough to get a job, his own place, therapy and medications and never live with you again. Many good wishes. I know how hard this is. I had to do it. I hurt at first, but the pay off was great. She is wonderful today. Your son needs some incentive to do better. Right now he has none. [/QUOTE]
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Failure to Thrive
My Adult Son Has Been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Severe Depression and Anxiety
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