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Parent Emeritus
my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 599956" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>There are many books 'out there' about codependency and enabling that helped me. Many years ago when my counselor talked to me about detaching I thought I was, it's not that easy.</p><p></p><p>I also thought I had my enabling under control. My difficult child was clean and sober for over a year and met the girlie from he*** and now is worse than ever in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>I felt like I had been slung back to square one. BUT, I do have much more knowledge than I did years ago and I found that I had reverted back to my old 'helping' habits. When you start 'helping' they stop doing for themselves and become so dependent, it's so easy for them.</p><p></p><p>As I am sure you have read on many posts, these children can not be parented like most children. If you are like most of us you will feel like you are mean and turning your back on someone you love with all of your body and sole. It feels unnatural.</p><p></p><p>That's the way you will feel and first, as you get more comfortable with the process you will start to feel at peace knowing you are on the right path to helping your child take responsibility for their actions and their lives.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child knew that I would not let him go hungry so his conn was I need money for food - until I found out he was really partying with the money I was sending. Once he realized that I really meant NO he stopped all communication with me.</p><p></p><p>There are a lot of programs out there to help them when they are ready. Nothing we say or do will make them want help, it's all up to them. It's a very sad thing. </p><p></p><p>Wishing you peace today, just take it one day at a time.</p><p>(((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 599956, member: 13558"] There are many books 'out there' about codependency and enabling that helped me. Many years ago when my counselor talked to me about detaching I thought I was, it's not that easy. I also thought I had my enabling under control. My difficult child was clean and sober for over a year and met the girlie from he*** and now is worse than ever in my opinion. I felt like I had been slung back to square one. BUT, I do have much more knowledge than I did years ago and I found that I had reverted back to my old 'helping' habits. When you start 'helping' they stop doing for themselves and become so dependent, it's so easy for them. As I am sure you have read on many posts, these children can not be parented like most children. If you are like most of us you will feel like you are mean and turning your back on someone you love with all of your body and sole. It feels unnatural. That's the way you will feel and first, as you get more comfortable with the process you will start to feel at peace knowing you are on the right path to helping your child take responsibility for their actions and their lives. My difficult child knew that I would not let him go hungry so his conn was I need money for food - until I found out he was really partying with the money I was sending. Once he realized that I really meant NO he stopped all communication with me. There are a lot of programs out there to help them when they are ready. Nothing we say or do will make them want help, it's all up to them. It's a very sad thing. Wishing you peace today, just take it one day at a time. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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