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Parent Emeritus
my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 600015" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Seo I totally feel your pain and I am right where you are in terms of learning to detach.</p><p></p><p>Today my son called me from Colorado. It's The Day, when he is supposed to leave his dad's house. He had been drinking and said he was scared and should never have moved out there (from Illinois). He said at least he knew people here. (I am back in Illinois)</p><p></p><p>He said "You know I'm homeless now, right?" and "I wanted to wait before coming out here. It was too soon". Of course, my bowels FROZE and I ran my daily errands on the verge of tears and full of guilt. </p><p></p><p>I took him out there to stay with his dad for a while so I'm not (yet!) in the position of having him turn up at the front door, as you are. But I can so relate to what you are feeling and am sorry for your pain. Today I don't think I can bear it. I just imagine it'll get worse. </p><p></p><p>He said "what's the point of coming out here if I'm only going to do the same things as I did in Illinois? As if he had no choice? But in truth, he doesn't have a lot of options. However, in Colorado, he got into the social services system so has a food card and some cash. Maybe you could look into those kind of services for him? </p><p></p><p>My son is 24-believe me I put up with way too much for way too long and helping him kept him stuck and probably made him regress. Easier said than done, but try your best to stick to your guns and don't help him-they all just seem to go back to what they know and that isn't going to work for you any more...</p><p></p><p>Strength and courage to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 600015, member: 13561"] Seo I totally feel your pain and I am right where you are in terms of learning to detach. Today my son called me from Colorado. It's The Day, when he is supposed to leave his dad's house. He had been drinking and said he was scared and should never have moved out there (from Illinois). He said at least he knew people here. (I am back in Illinois) He said "You know I'm homeless now, right?" and "I wanted to wait before coming out here. It was too soon". Of course, my bowels FROZE and I ran my daily errands on the verge of tears and full of guilt. I took him out there to stay with his dad for a while so I'm not (yet!) in the position of having him turn up at the front door, as you are. But I can so relate to what you are feeling and am sorry for your pain. Today I don't think I can bear it. I just imagine it'll get worse. He said "what's the point of coming out here if I'm only going to do the same things as I did in Illinois? As if he had no choice? But in truth, he doesn't have a lot of options. However, in Colorado, he got into the social services system so has a food card and some cash. Maybe you could look into those kind of services for him? My son is 24-believe me I put up with way too much for way too long and helping him kept him stuck and probably made him regress. Easier said than done, but try your best to stick to your guns and don't help him-they all just seem to go back to what they know and that isn't going to work for you any more... Strength and courage to you. [/QUOTE]
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my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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