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Family of Origin
My dad has lung cancer
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 678298" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>SWOT I just saw this and I am so sorry. I just lost my dad the end of October. He was two months from 96 years old. He broke his hip the week before and was transferred to the rehab. My sister and I stayed with him all day through the transfer, got him settled in although we did not like the place and knew he needed more care than he would get there, and by the next morning before we got there he passed away. </p><p></p><p>So much of what you describe with your sister and brother I have also. I was really kept out of the loop and she made all the decisions and arrangements for him and was his POA. Long story, dysfunctional family. But I loved Dad very much and always thought we had a good relationship. In the end he gave everything to my sister, she cleaned out his apartment knowing my daughter needed so much furniture and housewares, but gave us nothing, she said dad wanted her to have everything. I had come to terms with the dysfunction years ago and always tried to keep that away from my relationship with him. </p><p></p><p>During the week he was in the hospital I made sure I maintained a friendly interaction with sister. Dad needed our support. The funeral was difficult and there were times I wanted to scream. My family was completely shut out of any of the arrangements and the flag on his casket that was suppose to go to me went to her. That hurt. Since then I communicated with her a few times via text or email regarding his autopsy but we will go back to being uninvolved in each others lives.</p><p></p><p>It is hard watching your parent fail and know there is nothing you can do. I did the best I could to put aside any past hurts and let him know I loved him. That was all I could do.</p><p></p><p>I will be thinking of you during this difficult time. So many difficult feelings to deal with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 678298, member: 59"] SWOT I just saw this and I am so sorry. I just lost my dad the end of October. He was two months from 96 years old. He broke his hip the week before and was transferred to the rehab. My sister and I stayed with him all day through the transfer, got him settled in although we did not like the place and knew he needed more care than he would get there, and by the next morning before we got there he passed away. So much of what you describe with your sister and brother I have also. I was really kept out of the loop and she made all the decisions and arrangements for him and was his POA. Long story, dysfunctional family. But I loved Dad very much and always thought we had a good relationship. In the end he gave everything to my sister, she cleaned out his apartment knowing my daughter needed so much furniture and housewares, but gave us nothing, she said dad wanted her to have everything. I had come to terms with the dysfunction years ago and always tried to keep that away from my relationship with him. During the week he was in the hospital I made sure I maintained a friendly interaction with sister. Dad needed our support. The funeral was difficult and there were times I wanted to scream. My family was completely shut out of any of the arrangements and the flag on his casket that was suppose to go to me went to her. That hurt. Since then I communicated with her a few times via text or email regarding his autopsy but we will go back to being uninvolved in each others lives. It is hard watching your parent fail and know there is nothing you can do. I did the best I could to put aside any past hurts and let him know I loved him. That was all I could do. I will be thinking of you during this difficult time. So many difficult feelings to deal with. [/QUOTE]
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My dad has lung cancer
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