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My daughter is a prostitute
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 687464" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>You know I am remembering that for about a year I lived with a woman who had been a prostitute. Before I adopted my son, maybe 26 or 27 years ago. Her name was Jennifer. She I think was then in her early 30's. We became friends. I did not know she had been a prostitute until she began to act a bit strangely, like something was on her mind. After weeks she blurted out: I was a prostitute. </p><p></p><p>It seems that she held me in some esteem, or maybe it was because my life was more straight and narrow, and felt my caring for her would be affected by the disclosure.</p><p></p><p>While it was not, our relationship became strained, because it was she who seemed to feel stigmatized by her disclosure. The easiness between us never returned.</p><p></p><p>I think about her sometimes. We drew apart because she was an alcoholic, for one, and I became uncomfortable about being around her drunk; and I think my new son stood between us. I had changed. I am so sorry for this.</p><p></p><p>Your views? What are they really? I mean, how are they really different from the rest of us, most of us? You want your child to feel self-regard and to make choices from this place. Who could not understand your pain? </p><p>I would guess that there is a lot of suppression of what this feels like. I worked many years in prisons and I knew if I thought about it that I was likely an object of desire, not because of any attractiveness on my part but because I was there.</p><p></p><p>If I thought about it I was grossed out. But I did not think about it because I could not function. Although this is a world away from the prostitute's situation, there are defense mechanisms that protect the self from really getting what is going on, I think.</p><p></p><p>Although I can imagine that for some people, calloused, damaged, angry, etc. there is a relatively stable deadening to feelings that might interfere with their functioning in this manner.</p><p></p><p>I am less interested in all of that than in Slim, whose experience like all of ours, is that of a mother who has to follow her child to places where she was unprepared to go or to return.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 687464, member: 18958"] You know I am remembering that for about a year I lived with a woman who had been a prostitute. Before I adopted my son, maybe 26 or 27 years ago. Her name was Jennifer. She I think was then in her early 30's. We became friends. I did not know she had been a prostitute until she began to act a bit strangely, like something was on her mind. After weeks she blurted out: I was a prostitute. It seems that she held me in some esteem, or maybe it was because my life was more straight and narrow, and felt my caring for her would be affected by the disclosure. While it was not, our relationship became strained, because it was she who seemed to feel stigmatized by her disclosure. The easiness between us never returned. I think about her sometimes. We drew apart because she was an alcoholic, for one, and I became uncomfortable about being around her drunk; and I think my new son stood between us. I had changed. I am so sorry for this. Your views? What are they really? I mean, how are they really different from the rest of us, most of us? You want your child to feel self-regard and to make choices from this place. Who could not understand your pain? I would guess that there is a lot of suppression of what this feels like. I worked many years in prisons and I knew if I thought about it that I was likely an object of desire, not because of any attractiveness on my part but because I was there. If I thought about it I was grossed out. But I did not think about it because I could not function. Although this is a world away from the prostitute's situation, there are defense mechanisms that protect the self from really getting what is going on, I think. Although I can imagine that for some people, calloused, damaged, angry, etc. there is a relatively stable deadening to feelings that might interfere with their functioning in this manner. I am less interested in all of that than in Slim, whose experience like all of ours, is that of a mother who has to follow her child to places where she was unprepared to go or to return. [/QUOTE]
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