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My daughter is a prostitute
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<blockquote data-quote="Slimothy" data-source="post: 687664" data-attributes="member: 20314"><p><strong>Copabanana,</strong> I think your comment about me being a mother who has to follow her child to places where I was unable to go, or return, just about says it all. You get this. I told my husband I have new best friends! I simply feel so supported here.</p><p></p><p><strong>Scent of Cedar-</strong> Imagine if we turned the clock back and my mother, a madam and brothel owner came to this site because of her Difficult Child.</p><p>When it all went down my mother rang the Pastor and gave him what-for and told as many people as would listen that I was chanting and playing tambourines on street corners. I did let her know I hadn’t shaved my head and joined the Hare Krishnas, although any religion was one and the same to her. She was hurting at my lifestyle choice. I know her pain is as valid as anyone’s here and I know she was hurting a great deal.</p><p>After Mum died, I packed up her home. From her diary I learned that in the months before she died she had been watching (TV) ‘Hour of Power’ from the Crystal Cathedral. In her diary she had written quotes from the service. The last one she wrote was ‘the darkest hour comes before the dawn’. That speaks loudly to me.</p><p></p><p>In fact, I was in a dark hour with my daughter a couple of weeks ago, which led me to stepping back from contacting her for a few months and starting this thread. When she had her surgery three years ago, I stayed with her for a month while her partner was there bullying her excessively. I was shocked. She could barely walk and was on mind altering drugs and still he bullied her. Then he started on me so I told him I found his behaviour disrespectful. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago my daughter told me she is seeing someone new and IF she gets sick (she was assuming I would be at her home looking after her), I will allow her total control of what’s happening re her partner. She viewed my behaviour with her former partner as inappropriate.</p><p></p><p>BUT I have new thinking since coming along here and I have written a poem and will start a new thread with that, in case anyone else can resonate with it.</p><p></p><p>Basically I now can see that I was enabling and rescuing by being there in her home, with her partner. If my daughter is sick like that again and NEEDS me to look after her I have decided I could only do that at my place. If she has a partner, I decided he can visit her and I will not become involved in her /their relationship. If he is a bully to her and / or me in my home though, it will be my house and my rules and he will be OUT!</p><p></p><p>This is the new me. I will keep telling myself this to reinforce my new thinking. Even if it takes a while.</p><p></p><p>On another note I have not heard of the author you mentioned, but did look her up and her books appear very interesting, thank you. I enjoy reading but of late, have been too distressed to concentrate. I work a bit with clay as a hobby and have found that very therapeutic.</p><p></p><p>Can you handle a true story on heels? Before you even answer I am telling you….I decided to wear heels to my son’s recent engagement. So I could ensure my mobility at the party, I trailed them around the office. So I teetered about for a few hours a day over a couple of weeks thinking I would manage just fine.</p><p></p><p>At the event I staggered in, totally sober while appearing otherwise because of wearing inappropriate footwear for all of the steps around the place (I hadnt counted on those >groan) and my age. I got to the loo door and given my compromised weight distribution I didn’t feel good just pushing it with my hand (it was a big heavy wooden door), so I stepped back and launched forward to give it full force with my shoulder. It wasn’t quite a Geronimo moment but I was in full flight when something happened I stupidly hadn’t anticipated- a woman pulled the door open from the other side.</p><p></p><p>So she and I had a difficult encounter for which I profusely apologised (several times over) as I peeled her off the wall and tried to help her straighten herself out. She was in a bit of shock, actually. We hadn’t collapsed completely which was really positive (as I was quick to point out to her several times over as well) because the floor was dirty and we were in above-the-knee length party dresses. Anyway, after returning from the loo my daughter in law to be, took me to introduce me to her mother for the very first time.</p><p></p><p>Sigh…so I let my daughter in law to be know, that her mother and I had already met (oh dear <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />)</p><p></p><p>SO I have decided to wear more sensible footwear to the wedding. Or if I do wear heels they won’t be quite so high and I would want to wear trousers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Slimothy, post: 687664, member: 20314"] [B]Copabanana,[/B] I think your comment about me being a mother who has to follow her child to places where I was unable to go, or return, just about says it all. You get this. I told my husband I have new best friends! I simply feel so supported here. [B]Scent of Cedar-[/B] Imagine if we turned the clock back and my mother, a madam and brothel owner came to this site because of her Difficult Child. When it all went down my mother rang the Pastor and gave him what-for and told as many people as would listen that I was chanting and playing tambourines on street corners. I did let her know I hadn’t shaved my head and joined the Hare Krishnas, although any religion was one and the same to her. She was hurting at my lifestyle choice. I know her pain is as valid as anyone’s here and I know she was hurting a great deal. After Mum died, I packed up her home. From her diary I learned that in the months before she died she had been watching (TV) ‘Hour of Power’ from the Crystal Cathedral. In her diary she had written quotes from the service. The last one she wrote was ‘the darkest hour comes before the dawn’. That speaks loudly to me. In fact, I was in a dark hour with my daughter a couple of weeks ago, which led me to stepping back from contacting her for a few months and starting this thread. When she had her surgery three years ago, I stayed with her for a month while her partner was there bullying her excessively. I was shocked. She could barely walk and was on mind altering drugs and still he bullied her. Then he started on me so I told him I found his behaviour disrespectful. Anyway, a couple of weeks ago my daughter told me she is seeing someone new and IF she gets sick (she was assuming I would be at her home looking after her), I will allow her total control of what’s happening re her partner. She viewed my behaviour with her former partner as inappropriate. BUT I have new thinking since coming along here and I have written a poem and will start a new thread with that, in case anyone else can resonate with it. Basically I now can see that I was enabling and rescuing by being there in her home, with her partner. If my daughter is sick like that again and NEEDS me to look after her I have decided I could only do that at my place. If she has a partner, I decided he can visit her and I will not become involved in her /their relationship. If he is a bully to her and / or me in my home though, it will be my house and my rules and he will be OUT! This is the new me. I will keep telling myself this to reinforce my new thinking. Even if it takes a while. On another note I have not heard of the author you mentioned, but did look her up and her books appear very interesting, thank you. I enjoy reading but of late, have been too distressed to concentrate. I work a bit with clay as a hobby and have found that very therapeutic. Can you handle a true story on heels? Before you even answer I am telling you….I decided to wear heels to my son’s recent engagement. So I could ensure my mobility at the party, I trailed them around the office. So I teetered about for a few hours a day over a couple of weeks thinking I would manage just fine. At the event I staggered in, totally sober while appearing otherwise because of wearing inappropriate footwear for all of the steps around the place (I hadnt counted on those >groan) and my age. I got to the loo door and given my compromised weight distribution I didn’t feel good just pushing it with my hand (it was a big heavy wooden door), so I stepped back and launched forward to give it full force with my shoulder. It wasn’t quite a Geronimo moment but I was in full flight when something happened I stupidly hadn’t anticipated- a woman pulled the door open from the other side. So she and I had a difficult encounter for which I profusely apologised (several times over) as I peeled her off the wall and tried to help her straighten herself out. She was in a bit of shock, actually. We hadn’t collapsed completely which was really positive (as I was quick to point out to her several times over as well) because the floor was dirty and we were in above-the-knee length party dresses. Anyway, after returning from the loo my daughter in law to be, took me to introduce me to her mother for the very first time. Sigh…so I let my daughter in law to be know, that her mother and I had already met (oh dear :() SO I have decided to wear more sensible footwear to the wedding. Or if I do wear heels they won’t be quite so high and I would want to wear trousers. [/QUOTE]
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