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My daughter is engaged to a man she has known for 5 months
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 588680" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, she is 23 and a Marine, which is an incredible accomplishment. I'm one of those parents who really doesn't interfer in my grown kid's choices, even if I think something won't work out or I see red flags simply because they are adults...we made OUR mistakes...and most of us made many...and it is in my opinion our job now to let them make their own choices and learn from them. You don't know for sure that this is a bad man. It's just a feeling you have. I personally would have gone along with it because I want to have good relationships with my adults kids and want to be able to know my grandchildren. I don't think grown kids like interferring parents and can backfire on you. </p><p></p><p>Since she isn't asking you for a ton of money, but just to talk to her fiance, if this were me, I'd do it. This is not ditzy young adult, living off of you, taking drugs, getting into trouble. She is a Marine. I would respect her choices and, if it works out that way, allow her to make her own mistakes. Otherwise you may end up without her in your life. We would all LOVE our kids to marry Prince Charming or Princess Wonderful. But most of us didn't do it and most of our kids don't make that choice either. </p><p></p><p>Since you have nothing to lose and none of your money is involved, just your acceptance, in my opinion it's probably a good idea to go with the flow. You have a daughter who has her own money and if it turns out badlyl, she can leave and support herself. I have no idea why you are looking at your grown daughter's bank account, but I would never do that. Same with fiance's divorce records. So he should have stayed with a woman who cheated on him??? Maybe he pays child support, even if it's not his child, because he wants this child to have a decent chance. I don't know. It's in my opinion none of my business.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board. Others may have another opinion, but I think it's best to allow grown kids to choose their own partners unless you are positive they are getting abused...even then, what can you do to stop it, even if you know? Let go of the control that you know longer have. JMO <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 588680, member: 1550"] Well, she is 23 and a Marine, which is an incredible accomplishment. I'm one of those parents who really doesn't interfer in my grown kid's choices, even if I think something won't work out or I see red flags simply because they are adults...we made OUR mistakes...and most of us made many...and it is in my opinion our job now to let them make their own choices and learn from them. You don't know for sure that this is a bad man. It's just a feeling you have. I personally would have gone along with it because I want to have good relationships with my adults kids and want to be able to know my grandchildren. I don't think grown kids like interferring parents and can backfire on you. Since she isn't asking you for a ton of money, but just to talk to her fiance, if this were me, I'd do it. This is not ditzy young adult, living off of you, taking drugs, getting into trouble. She is a Marine. I would respect her choices and, if it works out that way, allow her to make her own mistakes. Otherwise you may end up without her in your life. We would all LOVE our kids to marry Prince Charming or Princess Wonderful. But most of us didn't do it and most of our kids don't make that choice either. Since you have nothing to lose and none of your money is involved, just your acceptance, in my opinion it's probably a good idea to go with the flow. You have a daughter who has her own money and if it turns out badlyl, she can leave and support herself. I have no idea why you are looking at your grown daughter's bank account, but I would never do that. Same with fiance's divorce records. So he should have stayed with a woman who cheated on him??? Maybe he pays child support, even if it's not his child, because he wants this child to have a decent chance. I don't know. It's in my opinion none of my business. Welcome to the board. Others may have another opinion, but I think it's best to allow grown kids to choose their own partners unless you are positive they are getting abused...even then, what can you do to stop it, even if you know? Let go of the control that you know longer have. JMO :) [/QUOTE]
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My daughter is engaged to a man she has known for 5 months
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