My daughter to me, "I am a sex worker."

[Màmag]

Hello fellow parents.

My daughter, who finished university a year ago, and I live far away from each other. Last month my daughter told me she had paid off her student loans. This month, in person, I asked her about what work she was doing. (Since I couldn't understand how she could make so much money, her previous response had set off my mama radar.) This time she said, "I am a sex worker." It is all "virtual" sex work - online. She rates men's bits. She posts videos & photos. She provides the "Girlfriend Experience." (Something I had to Google.) She said she doesn't even reveal her face. She says she is really happy. She loves what she does and enjoys being self employed. She is incredibly smart and tells me everything she is doing is very safe. No one gets her personal info.

I'm happy she is happy as I know she was struggling financially and emotionally, half a year ago. And I am relieved it is all virtual. However, I am filled with guilt - wondering if I'd had the money to support her during her time of need, she wouldn't have gone down this path. I'm terrified this could lead to other things in real life. I still need to tell my partner this but don't know where to begin as I'm still trying to process it. I can't even imagine ever telling my family and friends.

 

[Crayola13]

Eventually, one of those guys will offer her a lot of money to make things real. It might be so much money that she can't turn it down. If all goes well she might do it again, and then she could end up with a client who is violent.

 

[newstart]

Mamag I am so sorry for your worries. My very intelligent daughter graduated from college with 2 degrees and I found out she was working at a strip place making thousands of dollars in just one night. I was horrified to the core but after researching and having her boyfriend fill me in, I found out she was dancing and teasing men at the club and then going home. After I researched it more I became ok with it, never comfortable or what I wanted for her but it was quick money and lots of it. When my daughter would get into a fight with another girl I would ask the girl questions and was told my daughter did not have sex with anyone just danced, girls that could rat her out still told me that she just danced. It was not unusual for my daughter to come home with $5,000 a night. My daughter was not happy doing this, she felt dirty but the money was so easy and so much she continued. My daughter traveled the world 3 times over and kept up with all her bills. She now can't make many of her bills. My daughter also did virtual things on video but I have no idea how that turned out. If your daughter is happy and you can get past the huge shock of this, do research and just see how much quick money she is making. I use to tell my daughter this is NOT blessed money and will cost her more in the long run, she now knows what I meant.

 

[Copabanana]

Your daughter sounds very much in control. She is setting the terms of her employment. I am squeamish about sexually oriented business. But I see her really as an entrepreneur. I trust her that she is not exposed. Sbe does not feel compromised or degraded. She feels she has distance in the transactions. I believe her.

I see it on the same spectrum as people in the media and film industry who put their image out there They have no control over what people do with it or make of it.

For many years I did professional work in prisons. Mostly with men. I was attractive and female. I had to accept that an aspect of the job was men exposing themselves to me occasionally. And whatever they thought about or did that I could not see. I had no control over how they thought of me. And I had no responsibility for it.

If people ask about your daughter's work it is fair to say, online entrepreneur. Which is true. It is nobody's business, anything more. She sounds enterprising and self reliant. And very bright. 30 years later after finishing school, I owe more student loan debt than I started with.

In the USA stormy Daniels is educating our populace that women need not bear the shame and stigma of sex work that is directed to them largely by men; the same men who utilize these services. Bravo.

 

[Tanya M]

I can imagine your shock. It's never easy to find out that our child is doing something that we do not want for them.
The small blessing I see in this is that she told you. She could have lied and made up some kind of story but she was honest with you.

Please do not harbor any guilt over this. She is a grown woman and it's not your place to pay for her student loans.

As hard as it is to accept, hold onto the fact that she was honest with you and because of that I would trust that what she is saying about it all being virtual.

Of course I hope she will come to find another way to make money.

((HUGS))

 

[alexmandeltoon]

I think that if your daughter is old enough and happy, that you should also be happy with her

 

[ksm]

No way would I be happy about it. I only have control over my self and my home.. I would stay in my own lane and not bring it up. ..as long as she isn't "working" in my home. Ksm

 

[Coilavana]

It seems that now is the time when we should not condemn people for their way of earning. For each of us, there are personal boundaries that we should not and cannot violate, but they can be entirely different for each person. I believe that this field of activity should not be stigmatized since every person has the right to dispose of his body as he wants. I have friends who work as escorts, and they are amazing people. I know that female escorts las vegas agency is famous for an outstanding attitude towards its employees and the people who turn to them. So don't worry, the main thing is that she was happy

 

[Weresew]

I would be shocked by such a statement

 

[BusynMember]

I think sex work should be legalized and good Healthcare involved. Nothing will stop women from doing it so make it safer.

 

[Coilavana]

I don't know if I could be so calm in this situation. Maybe you won't agree with me, but sex is dangerous because of the level of stigma and the mystery that people try to surround it with.

 

[BusynMember]

I am not saying I would be calm. But I think my daughter may have already used this method to make money. So I wish it were safer. Many on the street without jobs do this.

I don't really want to know the truth. I don't want to be told.

 

[Coilavana]

I don't know if I could be so calm in this situation. Maybe you won't agree with me, but sex is dangerous because of the level of stigma and the mystery that people try to surround it with.

I have a friend who worked as an elite escort. The business owners guaranteed the girls' safety, so they could clearly outline the limits of what is permitted for clients. But after all, even when communicating with a stranger on the street, you can't be sure that he is a healthy and adequate person. Likewise, sex workers can never be 100% sure they are safe. There are many ways to disclose privacy.