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<blockquote data-quote="PiscesMom" data-source="post: 709240" data-attributes="member: 19889"><p>I don't think there is any relation between Myers Briggs and Enneagram, actually. I like them both. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p>I can't figure out how to do quotes today - but I guess I am hard on myself from verbal abuse - a lifetime of it. Growing up, then when I was married. My ex, I really believe has NPD. I don't mean that as an insult. Now he is pretty broken, all his toys are gone. I would not wish that on anyone - I may be shy and avoid people, but I have a rich interior life and imagination. I do not need peoples approval, envy, and admiration. I also always felt a little different from others - shy, the art girl, introverted.</p><p>I regret all the wasted energy I spent trying to get my ex to see me, to be a good father, to stop with the drugs and drinking with his friends all hours. That was a lifetime ago - I can't remember why I cared, but I sure did then. I wonder if my stress and unhappiness while pregnant, plus my untreated thyroid condition (I didn't know) and him being older, all combined really affected the kids in utero. When I think about it, I feel terrible.</p><p>There is also the fact that - I am from a big family and two of my siblings have had significant mental health problems. My oldest sibling was on ADD medication and spent a year or two on too high a dose and had serious rage problems and psychotic breaks, my sib w autism was hospitalized with depression as a teen. My ex's family had a few of them hospitalized as well, but a lot of the extended family (his sibs, their kids) has been through our legal system, drugs, violence, jail, prison, long rap sheets. So I shouldn't blame myself for everything.</p><p>With these kids, I feel like I am pushing a heavy rock uphill, except it doesn't seem to work.</p><p>But me and the girls - we get along. We all love each other. I am starting to think, maybe just from writing here about her, that maybe her anxiety is not about me.</p><p>I like to be in bed a lot, too!</p><p>Why do you say you felt ok in a traumatic place? I hope it wasnt too terrible. I have only seen prison in movies or tv. I guess I visited my son in JDC, that's all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PiscesMom, post: 709240, member: 19889"] I don't think there is any relation between Myers Briggs and Enneagram, actually. I like them both. :) I can't figure out how to do quotes today - but I guess I am hard on myself from verbal abuse - a lifetime of it. Growing up, then when I was married. My ex, I really believe has NPD. I don't mean that as an insult. Now he is pretty broken, all his toys are gone. I would not wish that on anyone - I may be shy and avoid people, but I have a rich interior life and imagination. I do not need peoples approval, envy, and admiration. I also always felt a little different from others - shy, the art girl, introverted. I regret all the wasted energy I spent trying to get my ex to see me, to be a good father, to stop with the drugs and drinking with his friends all hours. That was a lifetime ago - I can't remember why I cared, but I sure did then. I wonder if my stress and unhappiness while pregnant, plus my untreated thyroid condition (I didn't know) and him being older, all combined really affected the kids in utero. When I think about it, I feel terrible. There is also the fact that - I am from a big family and two of my siblings have had significant mental health problems. My oldest sibling was on ADD medication and spent a year or two on too high a dose and had serious rage problems and psychotic breaks, my sib w autism was hospitalized with depression as a teen. My ex's family had a few of them hospitalized as well, but a lot of the extended family (his sibs, their kids) has been through our legal system, drugs, violence, jail, prison, long rap sheets. So I shouldn't blame myself for everything. With these kids, I feel like I am pushing a heavy rock uphill, except it doesn't seem to work. But me and the girls - we get along. We all love each other. I am starting to think, maybe just from writing here about her, that maybe her anxiety is not about me. I like to be in bed a lot, too! Why do you say you felt ok in a traumatic place? I hope it wasnt too terrible. I have only seen prison in movies or tv. I guess I visited my son in JDC, that's all. [/QUOTE]
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