My difficult child, not liking him right now

[Jen]

I had the greatest, I dont want anything converstion with him last eve. Then I come into the computer room, and see the writing on the wall, literally. We have a baby crib in the computer room where my grandson was sleeping. While my daughter is away, we hung up pics of her , and grandson, and her husband (they both consider themselves seperated) , to remind him of her. In the middle she wrote him a letter very simple and colorful. Anyway my difficult child son took it upon himself to write over it. It says, as if he was she "I dont really love you cause I didnt leave you any money or food".

This really aggravates me cause my son is in the moment here, but he dont look in his own backyard. What I mean, is he isnt doing anything to get back to having visitation with his 3 other children, and he pays child support for whenever it suits him not to land in jail. His wife feels the same way about my daughter, and even though she is not guilty of anything, she still chooses to live with my difficult child that threw away basically his first 3 kids because of pride.

I generally havent post much about him latley because it is basically futile, but he now is overstepping his boundries where he has no room to talk. He has taken in my daughters husband and son. My sister in law basically left here cause he didnt like the requests I had anymore on him. Oh like, doing your own laundry and your sons. letting us know if he is going to be out after work and where in case his cell phone goes dead, and there is an emergency , making one meal for dinner a week, and cleaning up the house or yard without asking. In exchange we have given him free food, free rent, free sitting.

I guess the payback to my son with what he did ,is when he realizes that he feels the same way about my sister in law as I do. At first we pittyed him, and you would never know from looking at him, that he is a moocher. My daughter is guilty of not providing like she should since she joined the army, but I know why even though she sacrificed her son why she had to leave. She will never give her rights away, and I cant waite for my grandson will go out and spend time with her before she is deployed next yr. My daughter in law is alreay not liking to take care of her child, my other grandchild and this grandson. My son said if I dont like what sister in law is doing I will let him know. Like I didnt , and sister in law response once when I called him on something was " I dont see that I did anyting wrong".

Ok so I feel better , and guess I came up with the conclusion of what will happen, and it will. I just need to be patient.

Jen

 

[WhymeMom?]

If your son is doing this I can only imagine what they are feeding to your grandson.....Is there anyway you could get him out of the situation of living in this chaos? They are all probably "bad mouthing" your daughter in front of her son.....
Is she is not sending money because she thinks her hubby will spend it before it gets to her son? What a mess....I would imagine your difficult child is jumping on board because he feels he is not the focus of the mess this time....

Is he allowed in your home unsupervised? I would be chaniging the locks......

 

[Jen]

To a certain amt they have the right to bad mouth her as she has pulled some really dimmwitted things, but again cant amt up to all the times and heck my difficult child put me through.
She is not worried about him g3etting into the finances as I mentined before the last 3 months of the 6 months she has been gone has been all about her and how she has spent the money recklessly.
I can only hope they dont talk bad about my easy child daughter around my grandson.
Again my sister in law has abused us basically though he doesnt see it that way. He never shows here except around my son once, adn the other 2 times he doesnt show up, and that is in respect to cleeaning and getting rid of the cat. The last 2 dasy I have been off, adn my grandson was to be in town to go to daycare, adn me to pick him up. Both times sister in law has called him in sick, an unless I would have not called asking, he probably would not have notified not to pick up Grandson. I think my sister in law is basically lying to me. He tells me that grandson is up till 3 am sick, but not enough to need medications, that he is just cranky, but I have called there late at night both nights and he has been in bed asleep...hmmm.
That is another thing I never liked about my sister in law he is so non confrontational, so probles are never worked through. Rahter then he gives an air of being "above it all, I dont see the problem, adn I dont have enough respect to discuss it with you" attitude. Very much the way his Mom comes off, but she is vocal with it where he is not.
I will continue to do this for my grandson only. That is one reason my easy child girl brought them back this way, cause she didnt want him to be around his family.
I walk a fine line in this situation, but I will always support my grandson and easy child daughter. I used to be that way about my sister in law, but now I see the part she could not longer be around.
I hope she can folow through and get the time to have grandson with her. She wants us to bring him,but I still feel strongly at this time that her husband takes him, stay there for a week, adn get things grounded.
Jen