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My heart is breaking
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751855" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Laura</p><p></p><p>I'm worried that I'm being insensitive. And I don't want to be. I can guess how you are feeling now. I feel bad for you and I don't want you to suffer. </p><p></p><p>I keep being an optimist. And that's wrong. When you feel so badly. But I can't help it.</p><p></p><p>The only thing I want to convey is this: the end of the story hasn't been written yet. All of us are in the position of being powerless over how our children decide to live their lives. That they will make a terrible choice, is always just around the corner. The only thing that can take away this roller coaster ride we take with them, is either their learning to decide better; or our work to get off their roller coaster. And letting them be on it...until they get sick of the twists and turns. And learn to decide better.</p><p>He made the healthy choice to come to Florida. And then after making a series of poor choices after he arrived he turned this around.</p><p></p><p>Recovery does not live in Florida. It lives in him. Maybe he doesn't want to live in Florida. Maybe he wants to live in Chicago. Maybe he has changed somewhat. Maybe when he goes back to Chicago and to the boyfriend, things will not be the same as he imagines. There is a lot nobody knows. That only comes from his living life.</p><p></p><p>This is a test for you, too. What do you need to do to hang onto all of the positive changes you have made? What will help you locate yourself in YOU and not in your son. And back to the wonderful life you share with your husband.</p><p></p><p>People change all of the time. The thing is we don't know. You don't know. I don't know. And your son doesn't know.</p><p></p><p>I think you are very wise to play it cool with him. I know how hard it is. You have come such a long way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751855, member: 18958"] Dear Laura I'm worried that I'm being insensitive. And I don't want to be. I can guess how you are feeling now. I feel bad for you and I don't want you to suffer. I keep being an optimist. And that's wrong. When you feel so badly. But I can't help it. The only thing I want to convey is this: the end of the story hasn't been written yet. All of us are in the position of being powerless over how our children decide to live their lives. That they will make a terrible choice, is always just around the corner. The only thing that can take away this roller coaster ride we take with them, is either their learning to decide better; or our work to get off their roller coaster. And letting them be on it...until they get sick of the twists and turns. And learn to decide better. He made the healthy choice to come to Florida. And then after making a series of poor choices after he arrived he turned this around. Recovery does not live in Florida. It lives in him. Maybe he doesn't want to live in Florida. Maybe he wants to live in Chicago. Maybe he has changed somewhat. Maybe when he goes back to Chicago and to the boyfriend, things will not be the same as he imagines. There is a lot nobody knows. That only comes from his living life. This is a test for you, too. What do you need to do to hang onto all of the positive changes you have made? What will help you locate yourself in YOU and not in your son. And back to the wonderful life you share with your husband. People change all of the time. The thing is we don't know. You don't know. I don't know. And your son doesn't know. I think you are very wise to play it cool with him. I know how hard it is. You have come such a long way. [/QUOTE]
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