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My heart is breaking
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<blockquote data-quote="Chasejazz" data-source="post: 751895" data-attributes="member: 24130"><p>Laura, as much as I don't want to admit it, the less I hear from my son, the better. It's so easy to get caught up in the guessing, the calculated behaviors, the ups, the downs, the sideways...</p><p>I really pray in the deepest recesses of my soul that my son is well and that no harm comes to him.</p><p><em>However, </em>I have had to shake hands with the fact that every choice he made led him to the life he is living, alone, on the streets. Since his phone is still on my plan, I can see when I get my bill that he rarely gets or makes any calls. When he was in his 20s he had loads of friends, and a teaming, successful business. It's not for me to figure out what went wrong. I just have to keep my side of the street clean. We want to think we know what's best for our kids. I over-helped my kids into co-dependance and finally alienation. I thought being a good mother was shielding them from everything. Oh, what tangled webs we weave!</p><p>Self-medicating, with drugs or alchohol, is a very personal thing. It's never <em>one thing or one person </em>no matter what they tell you. I think AA and NA work for the people who really work those programs. I have seen miraculous changes with my own eyes, in people who have used it, so it can happen. Others will stumble, sometimes once and sometimes over and over. My experience is to move over and let them fall, if that's the case. They know where the meetings and sponsors are.</p><p>Meanwhile, have some well deserved peace for yourself. You deserve it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chasejazz, post: 751895, member: 24130"] Laura, as much as I don't want to admit it, the less I hear from my son, the better. It's so easy to get caught up in the guessing, the calculated behaviors, the ups, the downs, the sideways... I really pray in the deepest recesses of my soul that my son is well and that no harm comes to him. [I]However, [/I]I have had to shake hands with the fact that every choice he made led him to the life he is living, alone, on the streets. Since his phone is still on my plan, I can see when I get my bill that he rarely gets or makes any calls. When he was in his 20s he had loads of friends, and a teaming, successful business. It's not for me to figure out what went wrong. I just have to keep my side of the street clean. We want to think we know what's best for our kids. I over-helped my kids into co-dependance and finally alienation. I thought being a good mother was shielding them from everything. Oh, what tangled webs we weave! Self-medicating, with drugs or alchohol, is a very personal thing. It's never [I]one thing or one person [/I]no matter what they tell you. I think AA and NA work for the people who really work those programs. I have seen miraculous changes with my own eyes, in people who have used it, so it can happen. Others will stumble, sometimes once and sometimes over and over. My experience is to move over and let them fall, if that's the case. They know where the meetings and sponsors are. Meanwhile, have some well deserved peace for yourself. You deserve it. [/QUOTE]
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