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My heart is breaking
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 751910" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>I think it's very important to not envision absolutes such as "he or she will never". The truth is lives can and do change every single day .I try to hold my children to their highest good in my prayers and my thoughts (unless I am putting myself in crisis mode and freaking out ) while remaining in acceptance of what is true TODAY .It's one day at a time for them and for us.</p><p></p><p>Laura, it sounds to me that your son had accepted the financial boundaries you have set. He has not asked for money since you made the boundary . This is very good news because it shows that he is assuming some responsibility for his life. Going back to Chicago might be an attempt to do that as well seeing that he was on his own there and survived. There is more of what he knows well there than in FL. I also think that he is deeply ashamed of using again. I think his projections towards you and his irritability, discontent, and restlessness show that clearly. </p><p></p><p>The good news is that he has been to rehab. He has been to NA or AA - he now knows there is a different , a better way. If he is using again (and saying he could go to rehab in Chicago is an indication of that) , he is trying to figure out how to keep that going knowing you won't financially support him. So he is taking that step back into what he knew before he came to FL. And things will collapse on him again up there.</p><p></p><p>He knows where to get help. Chicago has tons of meetings as a major city .Tons of resources .</p><p></p><p>The more you take care of yourself , and the less you focus on him, the more of a chance he has to chose recovery once he is all out of options. </p><p></p><p>Sending much love to you and your son. You are both hurting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 751910, member: 24254"] I think it's very important to not envision absolutes such as "he or she will never". The truth is lives can and do change every single day .I try to hold my children to their highest good in my prayers and my thoughts (unless I am putting myself in crisis mode and freaking out ) while remaining in acceptance of what is true TODAY .It's one day at a time for them and for us. Laura, it sounds to me that your son had accepted the financial boundaries you have set. He has not asked for money since you made the boundary . This is very good news because it shows that he is assuming some responsibility for his life. Going back to Chicago might be an attempt to do that as well seeing that he was on his own there and survived. There is more of what he knows well there than in FL. I also think that he is deeply ashamed of using again. I think his projections towards you and his irritability, discontent, and restlessness show that clearly. The good news is that he has been to rehab. He has been to NA or AA - he now knows there is a different , a better way. If he is using again (and saying he could go to rehab in Chicago is an indication of that) , he is trying to figure out how to keep that going knowing you won't financially support him. So he is taking that step back into what he knew before he came to FL. And things will collapse on him again up there. He knows where to get help. Chicago has tons of meetings as a major city .Tons of resources . The more you take care of yourself , and the less you focus on him, the more of a chance he has to chose recovery once he is all out of options. Sending much love to you and your son. You are both hurting. [/QUOTE]
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