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My kids' stepmom says she hates them.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 567643" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>First, is this the kind of thing difficult child would make up or lie about? If she would, do you think she is? Just because she might do it does not mean she did do it, Know what I mean?? So you have to think about that.</p><p></p><p>Second, do you have peace now with the stuff your ex does? If not, then why worry about it now? It isn't going to happen anyway.</p><p></p><p>Third, this is AWESOME ammunition to have. next time he says he wants custody, ask him how that is supposed to happen when his wife has openly said she hates the kids? Is he actually willing to make them live with someone who hates them, and is he willing to have her leave him because he made the kids live with them? Also ask him how he intends to handle having them live with him when he cannot even handle visitation on the set schedule? He tends to want to skip visits or shorten them and he thinks he can handle custody? get real.</p><p></p><p>I honestly think he is threatening to sue for custody in order to control you. not the kids. YOU. He clearly will have very little good going on if the kids live with them. Life as he enjoys it will be OVER if he takes custody. there is zero chance that stepmom will change her opinions if she spends every day with the kids. No way she can handle that, esp with a difficult child. I would almost love to see him try. Esp the shower issue and school issues. </p><p></p><p>Exactly what will happen if you tell him about this? That her feelngs will change? that her behavior or his will change? That he will find a way to blame it on you? I am willing to bet he would go on full attack mode and blame this ALL on you because of course someone who isn't there did it all. Heck, given his attitude in the past, he would blame the weather on you if he was asked about it. </p><p></p><p>Please don't let him continue to manipulate you with custody/cps threats. Keep careful records fo things like this, dates of when he refused visitation or to pick up or drop off as decreed by the court. Of awful things he and his wife say/do, etc.... Rehearse some thngs to say when he threatens, like "How do you think you could handle full custody with a wife who hates the kids/when you cannot even follow a visitation schedule/cannot attend a parent conference or school play/handle the dr appts?? and other things. Write some of these down and keep them with you to refer to when he calls you. </p><p></p><p>Or, call his bluff. Let hm take difficult child since he says he can make her shower, go to school, do what he wants. let him experience the reality of life with a difficult child and a wife who actively HATES her. I am very very sure he would either bring difficult child back asap or have his wife leave, or both. It truly seems that he doesn't truly want the kids, he wants the freedom of no kids and the illusion that he is a responsible parent/family man at the same time. He also very very very much wants CONTROL, especially control of YOU. That is what his threats are about, not about love for his kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 567643, member: 1233"] First, is this the kind of thing difficult child would make up or lie about? If she would, do you think she is? Just because she might do it does not mean she did do it, Know what I mean?? So you have to think about that. Second, do you have peace now with the stuff your ex does? If not, then why worry about it now? It isn't going to happen anyway. Third, this is AWESOME ammunition to have. next time he says he wants custody, ask him how that is supposed to happen when his wife has openly said she hates the kids? Is he actually willing to make them live with someone who hates them, and is he willing to have her leave him because he made the kids live with them? Also ask him how he intends to handle having them live with him when he cannot even handle visitation on the set schedule? He tends to want to skip visits or shorten them and he thinks he can handle custody? get real. I honestly think he is threatening to sue for custody in order to control you. not the kids. YOU. He clearly will have very little good going on if the kids live with them. Life as he enjoys it will be OVER if he takes custody. there is zero chance that stepmom will change her opinions if she spends every day with the kids. No way she can handle that, esp with a difficult child. I would almost love to see him try. Esp the shower issue and school issues. Exactly what will happen if you tell him about this? That her feelngs will change? that her behavior or his will change? That he will find a way to blame it on you? I am willing to bet he would go on full attack mode and blame this ALL on you because of course someone who isn't there did it all. Heck, given his attitude in the past, he would blame the weather on you if he was asked about it. Please don't let him continue to manipulate you with custody/cps threats. Keep careful records fo things like this, dates of when he refused visitation or to pick up or drop off as decreed by the court. Of awful things he and his wife say/do, etc.... Rehearse some thngs to say when he threatens, like "How do you think you could handle full custody with a wife who hates the kids/when you cannot even follow a visitation schedule/cannot attend a parent conference or school play/handle the dr appts?? and other things. Write some of these down and keep them with you to refer to when he calls you. Or, call his bluff. Let hm take difficult child since he says he can make her shower, go to school, do what he wants. let him experience the reality of life with a difficult child and a wife who actively HATES her. I am very very sure he would either bring difficult child back asap or have his wife leave, or both. It truly seems that he doesn't truly want the kids, he wants the freedom of no kids and the illusion that he is a responsible parent/family man at the same time. He also very very very much wants CONTROL, especially control of YOU. That is what his threats are about, not about love for his kids. [/QUOTE]
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