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my mother-ugh!
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 10753" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Janet, I had an aunt who frequently was like your mom. Caustic. When her husband died in their sixties none of her kids would let her live with them and she didn't have enough to live alone. So my father let her live with him and told her that as long as he and my mother were alive she had a place to stay...rent free. Then my dad died and my mother felt that she had to honor his promise. This woman made my mother miserable for more than twenty years. Yes twenty years rent free! My aunt only paid half the phone bill and half the groceries. My poor mom would spend months away from her own home as a result. Finally my mother could take no more and she and my sister were looking for a mother/daughter house when mother died suddenly. </p><p></p><p>Now the interesting part. My cousins felt that WE nieces and nephews had an obligation to allow my aunt to live in my mother's town house rent free fro the remainder of her life! When we said no because she was senile, half blind, had fainting spells and had repeatedly left the gas stove on, my cousin screamed at me for the better part of an hour on the day after I buried my mom. In the weeks that followed his family stole things from my mother's house because we allowed them access to the townhouse. We let my aunt stay there for a short while and they had keys. These are all upper middle class people with lots of money yet they took mirrors off the walls took every silk flower arrangement took every gift they had ever given my mother and stole antique china pieces from her hutch. My cousin who had yelled at me ended up taking his mom into his home against his wife's wishes. It only lasted 2 months and then they put her in a nursing home. She died three years later. He and his sister who only live ten minutes from each other are no longer on speaking terms as a result. I personally haven't spoken to my cousin since and I didn't go to my aunt's funeral. I did send flowers because I do remember some nice times with her over the years. I suggest you remove yourself every time your mother gets nasty. Stop doing things you don't really want to do when you know it isn't appreciated anyway. Do only what you truly want to do. It is OK to say "ENOUGH". In your case I think it is definitely a situation where "enough is too much". -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 10753, member: 2315"] Janet, I had an aunt who frequently was like your mom. Caustic. When her husband died in their sixties none of her kids would let her live with them and she didn't have enough to live alone. So my father let her live with him and told her that as long as he and my mother were alive she had a place to stay...rent free. Then my dad died and my mother felt that she had to honor his promise. This woman made my mother miserable for more than twenty years. Yes twenty years rent free! My aunt only paid half the phone bill and half the groceries. My poor mom would spend months away from her own home as a result. Finally my mother could take no more and she and my sister were looking for a mother/daughter house when mother died suddenly. Now the interesting part. My cousins felt that WE nieces and nephews had an obligation to allow my aunt to live in my mother's town house rent free fro the remainder of her life! When we said no because she was senile, half blind, had fainting spells and had repeatedly left the gas stove on, my cousin screamed at me for the better part of an hour on the day after I buried my mom. In the weeks that followed his family stole things from my mother's house because we allowed them access to the townhouse. We let my aunt stay there for a short while and they had keys. These are all upper middle class people with lots of money yet they took mirrors off the walls took every silk flower arrangement took every gift they had ever given my mother and stole antique china pieces from her hutch. My cousin who had yelled at me ended up taking his mom into his home against his wife's wishes. It only lasted 2 months and then they put her in a nursing home. She died three years later. He and his sister who only live ten minutes from each other are no longer on speaking terms as a result. I personally haven't spoken to my cousin since and I didn't go to my aunt's funeral. I did send flowers because I do remember some nice times with her over the years. I suggest you remove yourself every time your mother gets nasty. Stop doing things you don't really want to do when you know it isn't appreciated anyway. Do only what you truly want to do. It is OK to say "ENOUGH". In your case I think it is definitely a situation where "enough is too much". -RM [/QUOTE]
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