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My son is a bully!
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 78573" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I'm with BBK. He's too old to be living at home and paying a fair share. You don't have to spend it -- you can put it into a special account for when he is ready to move out or education or his wedding (when the time comes). Whatever. </p><p></p><p>He should also be paying for any damages he causes.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was a bully to me. For a long time, I let her be. I finally decided this was stupid. I had a right to feel my home was my sanctuary, not a place where I cowered in my room while my child pretty much did what she wanted. I waited until she was in a good mood and gave her my rules and stated the exact consequences for breaking them -- anywhere from a money fine to calling the police. It took about 6 months but she began to see I meant it. I didn't back down. I did call the police when she stole from me or got violent. It was hard but it has paid off. She is not always a charmer, but she is always a person I can tolerate having in MY home (even though reminders are occasionally needed).</p><p></p><p>I'll tell you one thing that created more problems than not was when I behaved in a passive-aggressive manner such us picking her up late when I didn't want to pick her up. Underneath, I'd be resentful that I was there at all and she'd be angry that I was late. It created more problems in the long run. I found it was much better to just tell her I was too upset, tired, whatever to pick her up and she'd have to find her own way home. Yes, she'd be angry but after a few times of having to come home on her own and no response to her tirades other than "I'm sorry you feel that way," she began leaving the house in a much more civil manner.</p><p></p><p>You are most definitely not alone and your son is most definitely not the only bratty bully with mental issues. There are several here and many, many more with parents who haven't found this site. Welcome! You'll love most of the support here (and probably hate some of the advice given but listen to it carefully, anyway).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 78573, member: 3626"] I'm with BBK. He's too old to be living at home and paying a fair share. You don't have to spend it -- you can put it into a special account for when he is ready to move out or education or his wedding (when the time comes). Whatever. He should also be paying for any damages he causes. My daughter was a bully to me. For a long time, I let her be. I finally decided this was stupid. I had a right to feel my home was my sanctuary, not a place where I cowered in my room while my child pretty much did what she wanted. I waited until she was in a good mood and gave her my rules and stated the exact consequences for breaking them -- anywhere from a money fine to calling the police. It took about 6 months but she began to see I meant it. I didn't back down. I did call the police when she stole from me or got violent. It was hard but it has paid off. She is not always a charmer, but she is always a person I can tolerate having in MY home (even though reminders are occasionally needed). I'll tell you one thing that created more problems than not was when I behaved in a passive-aggressive manner such us picking her up late when I didn't want to pick her up. Underneath, I'd be resentful that I was there at all and she'd be angry that I was late. It created more problems in the long run. I found it was much better to just tell her I was too upset, tired, whatever to pick her up and she'd have to find her own way home. Yes, she'd be angry but after a few times of having to come home on her own and no response to her tirades other than "I'm sorry you feel that way," she began leaving the house in a much more civil manner. You are most definitely not alone and your son is most definitely not the only bratty bully with mental issues. There are several here and many, many more with parents who haven't found this site. Welcome! You'll love most of the support here (and probably hate some of the advice given but listen to it carefully, anyway). [/QUOTE]
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My son is a bully!
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