My son is on a rant tonight

[Tanya M]

My son is on a rant tonight. He has been posting on FB how horrible his life is, how he hates everyone. Basically he acting homicidal and suicidal. He has done this many times before and it's usually when he is really down on his luck.
Here's what he posted: (I cleaned up the cuss words)
F*** you all. You are wasted skin printed on what should have been human, you however are s**t. I sit and wait to die F### YOU NIGGARDLY PIECES OF S##T!! I'm done with you all I hate your kind who us anything but kind. I want to rip your guts out and then blow my brains out all over the cold unforgiving landscape you leave me in. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You sit and watch me, my fellow man, suffer and you do nothing, you should die. I going to teach my dog to kill on comand, f*** you all.

I sent him a private message telling him I love him and that I'm sorry he's having such a difficult time. I told him he has great potential. His response was that he does his best and it's s**t so he's s**t and that he will die before me. My response was "you are not s**t, you are my son and I love you" He has not responded back.
He's 3000 miles away living on the streets.
One of his FB friends just posted that he needs to go to a crisis center and ask for help. I'm glad someone else suggested that because if it came from me he would reject it. He still may reject the advice because he has a dog that he is very close to and I don't think he would want to be separated.
I pray he does go for some help.
I have been down this road so many times and it's never easy. It's so frustrating!!!
I'm so grateful for this site where I can come and vent.

 

[runawaybunny]

I am so sorry. This has nothing to to do with you. This is on him.

At this point he needs to be held responsible for his own life and his own choices.

He has been lucky to have you there for him this far. Your quality of life matters as much as his does. I support your future and your choices.

 

[Kalahou]

So sorry Tanya. Even though you’ve been through it before over and over, it is still so painful and frustrating to have it happen again. As RE said, you know it has nothing to do with you. But even then, we ache so much for our children when we see how they hurt and how low down (and self-loathing) they feel. I’m sure your short message to let him know you are there (as always) was something for him to grab on to. It’s good he is far away from you, that others are reaching out to him, good that he has a dog.

I think lots of folks at times feel on a rant, think such things as this momentarily and colorfully and cursedly vent. It's never nice and it's scarey, but nowadays with FB and other public and widespread media, it makes it worse to see it in print and publicized / broadcast to the outside so blatantly. That seems to magnify it. I lift your son and hope the best for him, and that he gets what he needs ~ whether it is a crisis center, or just a cooling off period, etc.

Like you, you know we are all thankful for this site to safely cry and vent to those who understand. You are a wise and seasoned warrior, but that does not make it any easier when a new strike hits. Take care. We support you. You know you are not alone here. And you know you are going to be alright. ~ K

 

[Tylersmom1979]

I pray everything goes better. Just no that at least you are away from his situation. Its sad. But only he can get the help hem needs no one else can do that for him.

 

[pasajes4]

This never gets easier. Praying for peace for you and for for your son.

 

[Albatross]

How frustrating for you, Tanya. As the others said, it is nothing to do with you. It is still so hard to watch them drop into a black pit like that. My son's "pits" leave him furious at the world and inconsolable, and trying to reason with him only makes it worse.

What a wonderful response you gave him, a tether to ground him in love and hope. I hope the storm passes soon for him.

 

[ksm]

So sorry... I can't imagine what you are going thru. Hugs and prayers.

KSM

 

[worried sick mother]

So sorry Tonya, you did all you could do by sending your son that message. Prayers for you both!

 

[Tanya M]

At this point he needs to be held responsible for his own life and his own choices.

This is part of what frustrates me the most as he always blames his life's condition on his childhood. Here's what he posted about that.
Yeah my life has been s**t since birth no changes no love just pain hard knocks nothing positive I live by myself and am always pushed away by people.
It's frustrating that he does not see any of the good in his life. I want him to understand that it's his attitude that causes people to push him away. This is also where I have to remember not to engage. I know from past experience that if I try and remind him of all the positives in his life, the conversation will turn into a battle.

I think lots of folks at times feel on a rant, think such things as this momentarily and colorfully and cursedly vent. It's never nice and it's scarey, but nowadays with FB and other public and widespread media, it makes it worse to see it in print and publicized / broadcast to the outside so blatantly. That seems to magnify it.

This is so true and I try to remember this. Just as I try to live in the moment the same is true for my son. At that "moment" in his life he was filled with hate and rage and posted about it. As much as I dislike reading those ugly words, I suppose it's good that he is able to vent.

This never gets easier.

So true Pasa, it never gets easier.

It is still so hard to watch them drop into a black pit like that. My son's "pits" leave him furious at the world and inconsolable, and trying to reason with him only makes it worse.

It is hard to watch Albie, and I do my best to not give into fear. When we give into fear we lose control. You are so right, trying to reason with them only makes it worse. I always remind myself "do not engage".

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm so sorry Tanya. This is so hard on us, no matter how many times we've been through it. Sending you hugs and prayers for your son to find his way through the darkness......

 

[Lil]

Oh Tanya, I'm so sorry. I have heard such talk myself...usually on the phone. It's so hard.

 

[RN0441]

Tanya
Just want to offer my support also. It's so hard to not get sucked into our Difficult Child messes isn't it?

Praying for peace for you and your son. I hope that he finds his way.