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My son is out. Again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 704339" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>HI Copa, I am sorry you are going through this. You know,we all get so tired mentally, emotionally, physically from our Difficult Child'S in trying to help them, hoping that maybe this time, will work. That maybe there will be a break through. But sadly, at least in my journey with my Difficult Child, the more I helped, did for him, the worse it became.</p><p></p><p>We don't know the unknowable. Every day we make decisions that will alter our own futures let alone our Difficult Child's. </p><p></p><p>What will your son do someday when you and M are not there to provide for him? Will he not be forced to make it on his own? </p><p></p><p>I have had to let go of helping my Difficult Child because when I am gone, how will he know how to survive on his own. I had to start working my way out of always being there for support, to answer his every beck and call. It was hard at first but as time goes by it gets easier. I just kept reaffirming to him, you are adult, you are 35 you make your decisions it's your life, you have to make your own way in life. I love you and know you will make the bests decisions for you. Then you let go. </p><p></p><p>I have faith in your son- that if you don't provide another chance for him (shelter, work) that he will make his own way- but you will never what he is capable of unless he flounders out there in the world. How will he ever know how good he had it with you and M unless he experiences the reality of life out in the real world?</p><p></p><p>In the end, we all have to make choices that we are able to live with, how much we will help, not help, to take their calls, not answer, not see them, etc. But they have choices as well; every day they have choices on how they will live their life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 704339, member: 19951"] HI Copa, I am sorry you are going through this. You know,we all get so tired mentally, emotionally, physically from our Difficult Child'S in trying to help them, hoping that maybe this time, will work. That maybe there will be a break through. But sadly, at least in my journey with my Difficult Child, the more I helped, did for him, the worse it became. We don't know the unknowable. Every day we make decisions that will alter our own futures let alone our Difficult Child's. What will your son do someday when you and M are not there to provide for him? Will he not be forced to make it on his own? I have had to let go of helping my Difficult Child because when I am gone, how will he know how to survive on his own. I had to start working my way out of always being there for support, to answer his every beck and call. It was hard at first but as time goes by it gets easier. I just kept reaffirming to him, you are adult, you are 35 you make your decisions it's your life, you have to make your own way in life. I love you and know you will make the bests decisions for you. Then you let go. I have faith in your son- that if you don't provide another chance for him (shelter, work) that he will make his own way- but you will never what he is capable of unless he flounders out there in the world. How will he ever know how good he had it with you and M unless he experiences the reality of life out in the real world? In the end, we all have to make choices that we are able to live with, how much we will help, not help, to take their calls, not answer, not see them, etc. But they have choices as well; every day they have choices on how they will live their life. [/QUOTE]
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