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My son is out. Again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 704352" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Our situations are the same and different. My son is 28. Any control I once had I have lost. I have no way to make decisions for him or his treatment. The only decisions I can make are what not to do. Not let him in my house. Not let him live here. Not let him live in property I own. Not talk to him.</p><p></p><p>I have learned that there is not one thing I can want for him or want him to do. Your son is young enough where you do have some control.</p><p></p><p>I did say he could not live here unless he got therapy. He did go to a residential treatment center and racked up a lot of debt. But the minute he got out the weed started again, even though we told him he could not use it with us. He lies. No. But why should I feed him? This is like a marijuana subsidy. I am seeing that any help with housing and food functions to provide him more money to buy marijuana. I enable him to pursue his addiction.</p><p></p><p>I am really almost at the point where I feel I have no options at all, because if I rent the apartment I own to him, I am saying really, it is OK the way you are. OK the way you live. OK to always be dependent upon the government. OK to not pay your bills. OK to not want anything for yourself.</p><p></p><p>At least if he is on the street he will suffer, and maybe there is a chance he will decide to help himself. My child has a chronic illness which is likely to cut short his life, without treatment, which is available. When he is homeless I lose any control at all to prevail upon him to see his physician. By detaching completely I feel I am risking that he die. Those are the choices I face.</p><p></p><p>Today, I wish I was not me. I am trying hard not to be me. I am ambivalent even to post, because I would really like to pretend I am somebody else or pretend that I do not exist. Neither one seems to be working.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 704352, member: 18958"] Our situations are the same and different. My son is 28. Any control I once had I have lost. I have no way to make decisions for him or his treatment. The only decisions I can make are what not to do. Not let him in my house. Not let him live here. Not let him live in property I own. Not talk to him. I have learned that there is not one thing I can want for him or want him to do. Your son is young enough where you do have some control. I did say he could not live here unless he got therapy. He did go to a residential treatment center and racked up a lot of debt. But the minute he got out the weed started again, even though we told him he could not use it with us. He lies. No. But why should I feed him? This is like a marijuana subsidy. I am seeing that any help with housing and food functions to provide him more money to buy marijuana. I enable him to pursue his addiction. I am really almost at the point where I feel I have no options at all, because if I rent the apartment I own to him, I am saying really, it is OK the way you are. OK the way you live. OK to always be dependent upon the government. OK to not pay your bills. OK to not want anything for yourself. At least if he is on the street he will suffer, and maybe there is a chance he will decide to help himself. My child has a chronic illness which is likely to cut short his life, without treatment, which is available. When he is homeless I lose any control at all to prevail upon him to see his physician. By detaching completely I feel I am risking that he die. Those are the choices I face. Today, I wish I was not me. I am trying hard not to be me. I am ambivalent even to post, because I would really like to pretend I am somebody else or pretend that I do not exist. Neither one seems to be working. [/QUOTE]
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My son is out. Again.
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