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Substance Abuse
my son is out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 510110" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this nightmare. I would not wish my life with my son on my worse enemy, it was (and is still sometimes) a living hell. I went though so much with my son, starting at an early age too. I was lucky that he was the youngest so he did not impact his siblings as much as your home. Sadly, as you have pointed out, I really could not find help until he was in legal trouble. I'm sorry to tell you this (but if you read our other posts you'll see it being discussed) the chances are that he will be arrested pretty soon. The good thing about that is he will be away from the drugs and your household will have a chance for peace for a while. </p><p></p><p>When mine ran away I would call and report him, and ours was the same, they do not really look for them and they assume the kids are at another kids house and will return home on his own. Mine lived on the streets for a few months and I could not find him, didn't know where he was, and the kids cover for each other. At 16 (in our area) you are old enough to legally drop out of school so they would not enforce truancy. He was raging one time and I called the police and they did take him to the detention center and kept him until he calmed down. I was a single parent and there were times I feard for my life because he was bringing such low lifes to my home.</p><p></p><p> Two kids I didn't know started hanging around and my son stole my keys and gave them to the kids to steal my car. They wrecked my car and were arrested for burglary <strong><em>with a gun</em></strong>. After they were questioned and told of my sons involvement the police called me and told me I had a serious problem at home and I needed to get my out of control son under control. <strong><em>Thank you very much, I am aware of that!</em></strong></p><p></p><p>I had my son in so many programs (he would not participate in joint counseling either) and most were court ordered. The kids think it is one big joke. I would go to court and they would come in laughing and showed no respect for anyone, including the judge. My son told me that he hated me and at one time my Christmas gifts were stolen. My life was a nightmare and many time I wished I had stopped with one child.</p><p></p><p>My daughter also had some teen problems involving drugs. I came home from work one day and both of my children were in jail. I wanted to just move and leave no word to any one about where I was. After 6 months (the druggie boyfriend had convinced her to break in and rob a store) my daughter was scared straight and stayed away from drugs and continued the court ordered counseling for years. She now has a MA, teaches, and is active in the community. <strong><em>Not my son!!!</em></strong></p><p></p><p>My son was a gifted child with a lot of anger (mostly directed at me) and when he turned 16 I drove him to take the GED because I knew he would never graduate. I continued with counseling and was told to learn to detach, but I wasn't really able to, and I stayed extremely stressed all of the time. Now he is 33, homeless, no job, no money and still tries to conn me for money. I am ready to get on the strongest medication I can find! but that won't help the problem is still here so I go to the gym as much as possible, meditate, read self help books, and keep busy with my hobbies. I am much better at detaching and I am over the guilt of marrying a man that was a bad parent and walked out on us.</p><p></p><p>It is so very hard and there are no cut and dried answers, but I would continue to call the police and try to get him in to as many programs as possible. And family counseling for you and the siblings. I will not support hime, but I do know addicts that have turned their lives around at 40 yo so I never give up hope. This is a great forum for support and advice.</p><p>(((blessings to you and yours)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 510110, member: 13558"] I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this nightmare. I would not wish my life with my son on my worse enemy, it was (and is still sometimes) a living hell. I went though so much with my son, starting at an early age too. I was lucky that he was the youngest so he did not impact his siblings as much as your home. Sadly, as you have pointed out, I really could not find help until he was in legal trouble. I'm sorry to tell you this (but if you read our other posts you'll see it being discussed) the chances are that he will be arrested pretty soon. The good thing about that is he will be away from the drugs and your household will have a chance for peace for a while. When mine ran away I would call and report him, and ours was the same, they do not really look for them and they assume the kids are at another kids house and will return home on his own. Mine lived on the streets for a few months and I could not find him, didn't know where he was, and the kids cover for each other. At 16 (in our area) you are old enough to legally drop out of school so they would not enforce truancy. He was raging one time and I called the police and they did take him to the detention center and kept him until he calmed down. I was a single parent and there were times I feard for my life because he was bringing such low lifes to my home. Two kids I didn't know started hanging around and my son stole my keys and gave them to the kids to steal my car. They wrecked my car and were arrested for burglary [B][I]with a gun[/I][/B]. After they were questioned and told of my sons involvement the police called me and told me I had a serious problem at home and I needed to get my out of control son under control. [B][I]Thank you very much, I am aware of that![/I][/B] I had my son in so many programs (he would not participate in joint counseling either) and most were court ordered. The kids think it is one big joke. I would go to court and they would come in laughing and showed no respect for anyone, including the judge. My son told me that he hated me and at one time my Christmas gifts were stolen. My life was a nightmare and many time I wished I had stopped with one child. My daughter also had some teen problems involving drugs. I came home from work one day and both of my children were in jail. I wanted to just move and leave no word to any one about where I was. After 6 months (the druggie boyfriend had convinced her to break in and rob a store) my daughter was scared straight and stayed away from drugs and continued the court ordered counseling for years. She now has a MA, teaches, and is active in the community. [B][I]Not my son!!![/I][/B] My son was a gifted child with a lot of anger (mostly directed at me) and when he turned 16 I drove him to take the GED because I knew he would never graduate. I continued with counseling and was told to learn to detach, but I wasn't really able to, and I stayed extremely stressed all of the time. Now he is 33, homeless, no job, no money and still tries to conn me for money. I am ready to get on the strongest medication I can find! but that won't help the problem is still here so I go to the gym as much as possible, meditate, read self help books, and keep busy with my hobbies. I am much better at detaching and I am over the guilt of marrying a man that was a bad parent and walked out on us. It is so very hard and there are no cut and dried answers, but I would continue to call the police and try to get him in to as many programs as possible. And family counseling for you and the siblings. I will not support hime, but I do know addicts that have turned their lives around at 40 yo so I never give up hope. This is a great forum for support and advice. (((blessings to you and yours))) [/QUOTE]
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