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My son is spiraling down
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 674203" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>QS, it is so awful when there is a crisis like this, and a lot of drama. I have been through several of these situations with my own son. The last was last summer when he was stabbed by his girlfriend, had surgery and then left the hospital AMA with some person to come to my house because all he could think about was getting the girlfriend out of jail...he pounded on my front door and cried and yelled through the side window. I would not open the door, and finally I said through the glass if you don't leave here I will call the police. I was shaking and crying. He went back to the hospital and ended up staying the rest of the night.</p><p></p><p>What in the world? This stuff is absolutely awful to live through. What are we to do with people...people we love...who absolutely will not take the help (imperfect as it is) that is available to them, and then it instantly becomes our problem and they are completely out of control and living incoherent lives that never get stable? It's always something and they absolutely will not and cannot accept help and be compliant with that help. They always know better. But they don't. It is a complete conundrum and I don't believe there is an answer. </p><p></p><p>In this country it is nearly impossible to "commit" someone to treatment, that is, to grab them off the street and force them to go somewhere and stay there under lock and key until they get better. I have laid awake at night wishing and praying for a humane, gentle, kind way for this to be the case, that there is a way to contain people until they get enough detox and treatment for them to start seeing a different way.</p><p></p><p>Maybe if there was a way to do this...and I know it's a very slippery slope...there wouldn't be this level of dysfunction with people who are addicted and mentally ill.</p><p></p><p>Just reading your post, I connected with the fear and the pain you must have felt, and I am just so sorry.</p><p></p><p>There is no answer to this, and I finally came to the point in my own life that I had to stop reacting to everything he did, and I had to set limits on what I would tolerate. Regardless. </p><p></p><p>And then we have to live with ourselves and our feelings, like you are today. I am here to support what you did with him. At some point, we can't be the escape hatch one more time. It doesn't work and it never has worked. </p><p></p><p>If there is to be a change, we have to change what we do. That is what you have done, and i am praying that sooner rather than later there is a better change for him.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. We're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 674203, member: 17542"] QS, it is so awful when there is a crisis like this, and a lot of drama. I have been through several of these situations with my own son. The last was last summer when he was stabbed by his girlfriend, had surgery and then left the hospital AMA with some person to come to my house because all he could think about was getting the girlfriend out of jail...he pounded on my front door and cried and yelled through the side window. I would not open the door, and finally I said through the glass if you don't leave here I will call the police. I was shaking and crying. He went back to the hospital and ended up staying the rest of the night. What in the world? This stuff is absolutely awful to live through. What are we to do with people...people we love...who absolutely will not take the help (imperfect as it is) that is available to them, and then it instantly becomes our problem and they are completely out of control and living incoherent lives that never get stable? It's always something and they absolutely will not and cannot accept help and be compliant with that help. They always know better. But they don't. It is a complete conundrum and I don't believe there is an answer. In this country it is nearly impossible to "commit" someone to treatment, that is, to grab them off the street and force them to go somewhere and stay there under lock and key until they get better. I have laid awake at night wishing and praying for a humane, gentle, kind way for this to be the case, that there is a way to contain people until they get enough detox and treatment for them to start seeing a different way. Maybe if there was a way to do this...and I know it's a very slippery slope...there wouldn't be this level of dysfunction with people who are addicted and mentally ill. Just reading your post, I connected with the fear and the pain you must have felt, and I am just so sorry. There is no answer to this, and I finally came to the point in my own life that I had to stop reacting to everything he did, and I had to set limits on what I would tolerate. Regardless. And then we have to live with ourselves and our feelings, like you are today. I am here to support what you did with him. At some point, we can't be the escape hatch one more time. It doesn't work and it never has worked. If there is to be a change, we have to change what we do. That is what you have done, and i am praying that sooner rather than later there is a better change for him. Hang in there. We're here for you. [/QUOTE]
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