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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 688224" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes. My son does too. </p><p></p><p>I have hope.</p><p></p><p>I have seen my son make incredible changes this past year. Not skin deep. Impulse control. Mellowing. Deciding to conform to what I wanted, because I insisted. Cooperation. Working with us. </p><p></p><p>I believe in part it was maturation. But there was choice involved.</p><p></p><p>I can accept if my son does not want to change his life. I will be sad, but I will accept it. But I will try to see if there is some way we can motivate him to want to change. </p><p></p><p>Walrus. I have come off 4 and a half years of very little contact with my son and very little hope. Our relationship was almost one hundred percent adversarial. I was furious and bereft. He was rejecting and hostile.</p><p></p><p>Where we are is a world away from that. </p><p></p><p>He does not have to accept any offer of support. He may not ask for it *although believe he will. But now I know where I stand. He may try to BS, but how do you BS a drug test? (I know there are ways...but it takes work.) </p><p></p><p>If I ask for concrete proofs of stuff done...we have the stuff done. He can always wiggle away. But I have faith that there will be a next time and a next time. </p><p></p><p>I never before really had conditions or a carrot. Already we are so much ahead of the game. It is glass half full or empty, is it not?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 688224, member: 18958"] Yes. My son does too. I have hope. I have seen my son make incredible changes this past year. Not skin deep. Impulse control. Mellowing. Deciding to conform to what I wanted, because I insisted. Cooperation. Working with us. I believe in part it was maturation. But there was choice involved. I can accept if my son does not want to change his life. I will be sad, but I will accept it. But I will try to see if there is some way we can motivate him to want to change. Walrus. I have come off 4 and a half years of very little contact with my son and very little hope. Our relationship was almost one hundred percent adversarial. I was furious and bereft. He was rejecting and hostile. Where we are is a world away from that. He does not have to accept any offer of support. He may not ask for it *although believe he will. But now I know where I stand. He may try to BS, but how do you BS a drug test? (I know there are ways...but it takes work.) If I ask for concrete proofs of stuff done...we have the stuff done. He can always wiggle away. But I have faith that there will be a next time and a next time. I never before really had conditions or a carrot. Already we are so much ahead of the game. It is glass half full or empty, is it not? [/QUOTE]
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My son left. I asked him to.
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