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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 688252" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I don't think it's out of line. I do think it's quite "ambitious" for lack of a better word.</p><p></p><p>I'm 52 years old. I have no mental or physical problems of any severity. I'm addicted to nothing. I even quit smoking.</p><p></p><p>My goals in 5 years? That was a job interview question that I always dreaded. The only thing I can EVER think of when asked that question is that I want my life to be calm and happy. To say something concrete? That would be tough. Really, really tough even now! I guess if I had to, I could set out some goals now...but I truly believe that this is the first time in my life I could do that. I certainly could not have 20 or 30 years ago. Not a chance.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I suspect we had the same attitude. I had a poster once that was "How to love a child". It had a line on it I'll never forget, "Say no when necessary, say yes when possible." I lived by that. These days I think I was too permissive.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This isn't unusual. Really it isn't.</p><p></p><p>When I was in high school, I was quite sure what I was going to do with my life. I did something completely different. Once I got to college, all my plans changed. I went thru a period where I had none to speak of. No plans, no ideas. My life worked itself out. Right now you DO have immediate plans. Personally, I think that staying clean, taking care of that baby, and getting back to work (yes, even to a "menial, warehouse" job) are not bad plans.</p><p></p><p>You're what? 21? You have time for more ambitious plans to develop.</p><p></p><p>And incidentally - there is nothing "menial" about any honest job. Every job there is needs someone to do it. Every job has it's own importance. There is no one "too good" to clean a toilet or load a dishwasher...or work in a warehouse. Don't think your job, whatever it is, is "menial".</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Why not go back to your old plans? You are clearly very bright. Did you graduate high school? If not, there is goal #1. Get your diploma/GED. If so, maybe goal #1 is night or on-line courses. If you really want to go into psychology, you still can.</p><p></p><p>My husband - who'll be 50 this year - got his college degree less than 10 years ago, while working full time. It is never too late.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>As you should.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You should not be that person! Life, even a non-addicts life, changes a person. I am NOT the same person I was 20 years ago. Heck, I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago.</p><p></p><p>You know the saying, "those who forget the past are doomed to relive it". You don't want to relive it. So you have to accept it and be changed by it.</p><p></p><p>I think you are doing a pretty amazing thing right now...coming here, helping us. You couldn't have done that 4 years ago, could you? Not all changes are bad. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 688252, member: 17309"] I don't think it's out of line. I do think it's quite "ambitious" for lack of a better word. I'm 52 years old. I have no mental or physical problems of any severity. I'm addicted to nothing. I even quit smoking. My goals in 5 years? That was a job interview question that I always dreaded. The only thing I can EVER think of when asked that question is that I want my life to be calm and happy. To say something concrete? That would be tough. Really, really tough even now! I guess if I had to, I could set out some goals now...but I truly believe that this is the first time in my life I could do that. I certainly could not have 20 or 30 years ago. Not a chance. I suspect we had the same attitude. I had a poster once that was "How to love a child". It had a line on it I'll never forget, "Say no when necessary, say yes when possible." I lived by that. These days I think I was too permissive. This isn't unusual. Really it isn't. When I was in high school, I was quite sure what I was going to do with my life. I did something completely different. Once I got to college, all my plans changed. I went thru a period where I had none to speak of. No plans, no ideas. My life worked itself out. Right now you DO have immediate plans. Personally, I think that staying clean, taking care of that baby, and getting back to work (yes, even to a "menial, warehouse" job) are not bad plans. You're what? 21? You have time for more ambitious plans to develop. And incidentally - there is nothing "menial" about any honest job. Every job there is needs someone to do it. Every job has it's own importance. There is no one "too good" to clean a toilet or load a dishwasher...or work in a warehouse. Don't think your job, whatever it is, is "menial". Why not go back to your old plans? You are clearly very bright. Did you graduate high school? If not, there is goal #1. Get your diploma/GED. If so, maybe goal #1 is night or on-line courses. If you really want to go into psychology, you still can. My husband - who'll be 50 this year - got his college degree less than 10 years ago, while working full time. It is never too late. As you should. You should not be that person! Life, even a non-addicts life, changes a person. I am NOT the same person I was 20 years ago. Heck, I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago. You know the saying, "those who forget the past are doomed to relive it". You don't want to relive it. So you have to accept it and be changed by it. I think you are doing a pretty amazing thing right now...coming here, helping us. You couldn't have done that 4 years ago, could you? Not all changes are bad. :hugs: [/QUOTE]
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