Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My son left. I asked him to.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 689132" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is interesting to me. </p><p></p><p>I think that in my son's case he has not understood autonomous work, work that comes from one's own desire to do well, to accomplish. Not imposed or regulated by demands from somebody else. Or finding a way to do work, even though it is governed in one way or another by others.</p><p></p><p>I remember what you wrote about your security guard job and how you came to grips with your fears:</p><p> </p><p></p><p>My son really had a hard time with authority these past number of years, and that is what he seems to be working out. He wanted to be his own boss without taking responsibility to meet his own needs--and could not reconcile not being able to do whatever he wanted in somebody else's place.</p><p></p><p>Which is often exactly what the conflict is about working.</p><p>It sounds like you modeled to them the sense that you do not have to give up yourself to go to work, or to any other place.</p><p></p><p>On another thread I was writing about how afraid I am to return to work. I have been off work now for 3 and a half years. For 2 and a half years I was mourning the death of my mother. I became largely bed-ridden which is a terrible thing for anybody but because I am in my 60's it is made worse, because one is losing capacities and finding out about health-problems, etc.</p><p></p><p>While my identity has been of somebody who is very strong and capable at work, I am also dealing with some fear. I fear returning to work because I am older, weaker, without endurance, fatter, etc </p><p></p><p>I am honestly afraid if I can do it, or if I really want to. But at the same time I know that if I do not try now, I may never recover control of myself and my life.</p><p></p><p>This conflict in me is played out in my head, not only in terms of authority figures, but fear of imagined co-workers and how they may treat me. It is also played out in terms of how I think about myself. </p><p></p><p>Not in a loving and caring way. </p><p></p><p>What I think you modeled for your sons is a way to deal gracefully and manfully with responsibilities, a reality that we do not often control <em>without breaking a sweat. </em></p><p></p><p>The person you believe in is you. It sounds like you taught them to not ever abandon themselves, even when everything and anybody, might tell you to. Which to me is a great way to live a life.</p><p></p><p>What a great post, A Dad. I always like it when you post. I cannot remember a post of yours that did not make me think.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 689132, member: 18958"] This is interesting to me. I think that in my son's case he has not understood autonomous work, work that comes from one's own desire to do well, to accomplish. Not imposed or regulated by demands from somebody else. Or finding a way to do work, even though it is governed in one way or another by others. I remember what you wrote about your security guard job and how you came to grips with your fears: My son really had a hard time with authority these past number of years, and that is what he seems to be working out. He wanted to be his own boss without taking responsibility to meet his own needs--and could not reconcile not being able to do whatever he wanted in somebody else's place. Which is often exactly what the conflict is about working. It sounds like you modeled to them the sense that you do not have to give up yourself to go to work, or to any other place. On another thread I was writing about how afraid I am to return to work. I have been off work now for 3 and a half years. For 2 and a half years I was mourning the death of my mother. I became largely bed-ridden which is a terrible thing for anybody but because I am in my 60's it is made worse, because one is losing capacities and finding out about health-problems, etc. While my identity has been of somebody who is very strong and capable at work, I am also dealing with some fear. I fear returning to work because I am older, weaker, without endurance, fatter, etc I am honestly afraid if I can do it, or if I really want to. But at the same time I know that if I do not try now, I may never recover control of myself and my life. This conflict in me is played out in my head, not only in terms of authority figures, but fear of imagined co-workers and how they may treat me. It is also played out in terms of how I think about myself. Not in a loving and caring way. What I think you modeled for your sons is a way to deal gracefully and manfully with responsibilities, a reality that we do not often control [I]without breaking a sweat. [/I] The person you believe in is you. It sounds like you taught them to not ever abandon themselves, even when everything and anybody, might tell you to. Which to me is a great way to live a life. What a great post, A Dad. I always like it when you post. I cannot remember a post of yours that did not make me think. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
My son left. I asked him to.
Top