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My sons personality has changed drastically.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747456" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nomad wrote a beautiful and thoughtful post.</p><p></p><p>I kicked out my son about 7 years ago. Instead of 13 he was 23. People told me if I withdrew the supports, he'd begin to do for himself. Instead the bottom fell out of his life and mine. He became homeless. He developed a marijuana habit. He became seriously mentally ill. He went on SSI. He had a number of psychiatric hospitalizations. Our relationship, once wonderful became hostile and mistrustful. He became non-compliant with treatment for a serious illness.</p><p></p><p>I tell you to raise two points. One. We have no control over what another adult does. This can and often does get a whole lot worse.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is this. Most adults ultimately have to take responsibility to live their lives. One way or another. Adulthood for most does not and cannot bring full dependency, and autonomy at the same time. Our sons can't call the shots for everything on our dime.</p><p></p><p>Why? It's very bad for them and bad for us. People get to live their own life story. If they do it in a way that is safe, respectful, collaborative, responsible and productive, they can do it near us. If not, they can't.</p><p></p><p>And finally, our welfare counts as something. We are not nothing. We are not roadkill. We matter too. It's wrong to let our kids mistreat us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747456, member: 18958"] Nomad wrote a beautiful and thoughtful post. I kicked out my son about 7 years ago. Instead of 13 he was 23. People told me if I withdrew the supports, he'd begin to do for himself. Instead the bottom fell out of his life and mine. He became homeless. He developed a marijuana habit. He became seriously mentally ill. He went on SSI. He had a number of psychiatric hospitalizations. Our relationship, once wonderful became hostile and mistrustful. He became non-compliant with treatment for a serious illness. I tell you to raise two points. One. We have no control over what another adult does. This can and often does get a whole lot worse. But the thing is this. Most adults ultimately have to take responsibility to live their lives. One way or another. Adulthood for most does not and cannot bring full dependency, and autonomy at the same time. Our sons can't call the shots for everything on our dime. Why? It's very bad for them and bad for us. People get to live their own life story. If they do it in a way that is safe, respectful, collaborative, responsible and productive, they can do it near us. If not, they can't. And finally, our welfare counts as something. We are not nothing. We are not roadkill. We matter too. It's wrong to let our kids mistreat us. [/QUOTE]
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My sons personality has changed drastically.
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